Step families

[zzxxee]

I am interested to find out how those of you who have step children find a harmonious balance when it comes to kids being jealous of dad/mums partner for no apparent reason.
When asked all you get is a shrug of shoulders and they are not forthcoming with any information.

[ljdksa]

Hi zzxxee,

No-one has answered yet, so I'll try! I don't have step-children, but have lived with my partner for 4 years, so he is step-dad to my kids. I introduced them very gradually, but my youngest did test him out a bit. My son was 3 at the time and finds changes very difficult to adapt to. My partner has always been very patient and kind to him and they get on very well now.
I also had a step-dad from the age of 7, but don't remember being jealous. He is my dad to all intents and purposes.
Are these your step-children? Just wondering what ages they are, as that will make a difference?

[zzxxee]

i have been with my partner for eight years its not my kids they get on fine its just his 17 year old, we just cant see eye to eye at the moment on anything .

[ummmm]

It's probably her age.

[ljdksa]

I would say it's the age too. I think when it's your own child, you think "teenage hormones," but with a stepchild you think it's resentment. Has he/she always been like this with you? Or is it a more recent thing?

[zzxxee]

she can get quite nasty with comments abusive texts ect alsop to her dad.
Why we dont know until recently we have always had a fab relationship, but if she wont talk its hard to go forward.

[ummmm]

My daughter seemed to get awkward about that age. Sailed through the early stages of puberty,

[zzxxee]

its just a waiting game i suppose
there is more such as abusive threats ect but i dont really want to go into it to much on here.
We have always got on very well, however it seems for no reason she has changed overnight its such a shame :(

[ljdksa]

If there is no obvious argument, it has to be either her age or something bothering her which she is tsking out on you. Maybe just tell her you're ready to listen, if and when she can be civil.

[ummmm]

And what do you/him say to her about these abusive texts?

My daughter wouldn't dare....

[zzxxee]

i never fight fuel with fire....
we just tell her its unacceptable, she is loved but her choice of text is not liked or tolerated.
But its gone beyond that now and is slowly becoming a police matter .

[zzxxee]

her two sisters are at a loss as to why she is like it as well

[ummmm]

Might be something really personal that she's not coming clean to. Has she got a BF?

[bloomwood]

Can her dad not sit down one to one and have a chat with her, to try and get to the bottom of her change in behaviour towards you? This sounds terrible for you and all concerned.

[FlowerPetal]

I'd REALLY like to know the answer to that as well ZZ!! In our situation, I'm really not sure there is such a thing to be honest :o(
Good luck in your search and if you do find an answer, be sure to post it here for us all to see xx