shy

[nanunanu]

was just wondering wether females find good looking shy men, less appealing than good looking jack the lad types?

Also does being shy hold yiou back from being a good parent or hold you back in your career? i get the feeling that lads want to BE my dad as he is jack the lad, whereas they wouldnt like to be like me as i am introverted

[andy hughes]

It depends on the lady - ir the lad - concerned. There is no hard and fast formulae for the type of guy women fancy, or the type of guy lads would like to be - everyone is individual, so don;t try and model yourself on some 'ideal' type - be yourself and the right person for you will appear. If the 'lads' wouldn't want to be like you, that's their choice, it doesn't infer in any way that you are lacking as a personality.

From my experience ot talking to women on a meaningful level, which is considerable, they are looking for a guy who is kind honest, and reliable - be he jack-the-lad or shy is a secondary consideration. Remember, even JTL's have to be serious at some time, unless they are too shallow to bother with!

[Lisax]

hey nanunanu

each girl differs so they like different personality traits in men.

how old are you??

also out of interest where did your user name come from??

Lisa xx

[nanunanu]

23 and nickname came from mork and mindy coz i was obssessed with it at school!!!

[Lisax]

23.... you are still young anyway, you've plenty of time to meet the right woman.

what do you enjoy doing???

being shy definitly doesnt hold you back from being a good father... my deginite of a good father is someone who can give a child the love and support they need in life, not necessarily going out with them etc.

as for the career part of the question i wont lie yes of course it can hold you back but it all depends on what your career ambitions are. what do you do at present?? what do yuo inspire to do??

by the way i'm only 20 myself so i can relate to people roughly your age

[nanunanu]

i already have a girlfriend, the question was mainly about CHARM, wether shy guys can have it.other people seem to know what they want and have ways within their personality of getting things done. I am shy and quiet ansd people seem to take me for granted because of that.

Other people have said i am slightly dumb!!!

I am a Graphic Designer

[Lisax]

people shouldnt take you for granted just because you are quiet... i think a quiet man as sometimes more appeal than a jack the lad as they have an air of mystery surrounding them x

[Lacey2709]

I prefer a quiet man to a jack the lad any day.  When a quiet person speaks, it's usually worth listening to, whereas loud mouths usually spout complete nonsense.

I seem to have a group of loud girlfriends though.....

[joko]

unfortunately people do make snap judgements and can be very judgemental based on very little evidence. shyness can be misconstrued as snobbery, rudeness, stupidity etc, but anyone who thinks like that is actually all those things themselves so i wouldn't concern yourself too much with what those people think.

I personally can't stand arrogant jack the lads.

[c00ky83]

Believe me, it can hold your career back!  I've just had two interviews in two days where I've been told I'm introvert and quiet... basically they're looking for the gobby types, regardless of ability.  Teamwork my ass!

[Octavius]

I am a very shy introverted man and this hasn't held me back or restricted me in relationships or career.  Some women prefer a man who listens as much as they speak, and some careers require someone who can trawl through all the gobbledygook to deliver something worthwhile. 

You just need to find both that appeal and suit you.