Jealousy /emotional responses.

[Cockney_si]

I want my girlfriend to get emotional like I do when I see pics of her ex in photo albums. I'm not being sick or bitter or twisted or anything, it's just that she says she doesn't get jealous when I talk about other girls. The time has come for me to get out photos of me as a kid and with family and mates and there are some in the albums that hav pics of my ex in them. I think this should trigger her emotions. Am I just being silly about all this. Just want her to know she wants me deep down.

[nicola_red]

I don't really get jealous.  I used to but I think I just grew out of it as I got older and more confident in myself.  After all, you've chosen to be with your current gf, not your ex anymore - why should she be jealous of your past?  I do understand your feelings, but i'd try to get over it if I were you.

[jno]

jealousy is a pretty destructive emotion (well, it's making you ponder some odd career choices) - why force it on someone else? As you acknowledge in your last sentence, the problem is in you - you don't trust her love for you. You need to attend to your own emotions, not hers. Why not try to learn from her? She seems pretty together.

[I_Tried]

Cockney_si

The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.
Fulghum, Robert

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity
Heinlein, Robert Anson

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.

I_Tried
Penn, William

 

 

[Englishbird]

be careful what you wish for.... it just might come true.

Just because she doesn't show jealousy doesn't mean she doesn't love you.  Jealousy is a horrible destructive emotion and you don't need it in your life.  You sound like you suffer a bit with a lack of self confidence? try and find other ways to get the reassurance you want from her - and count your blessings you're with someone who isn't the jealous type.

[Miss Zippy]

I agree with what�s been said. Jealousy is largely a symptom of insecurity and that is something you need to deal with, not thrust upon your girlfriend.  You should feel flattered that your girlfriend is (a) mature and secure enough in herself as a person and (b) feels secure enough in her relationship with you that she feels no jealousy. Don�t interpret her lack of jealousy as meaning she loves you/ cares for you any less than you do for her. People demonstrate how they feel about each other through positive emotions and actions, not destructive ones like jealousy. 

[andy hughes]

I don't think you want your girlfriend to be 'jelous' - you want her to demonstrate her feelings for you in a way that you feel you can empathise with.

This is futile - your girlfriend isn't you - it's unreasonable to expect her to react as you do. It's not rational to expect your partner to be jelous of people you knew before she knew you - and obviously, that applies to you as well.

You are feeling insecure, and trying to compensate by looking for comfort in a similar reaction from your g/f. the fact that it is not there simply makes you feel worse. As nicola says, you are together now, concentrate on each other, not on destructive emtoions which you feel, and resentment for her for not feeling the way you want her to feel.

It's not 'silly' because it is real to you, but you need to get some control on it before it does some lasting damage to your self-esteem, and to your relationship. 

[KittyGlitter]

I interpret this as you needing proof from your girlfriend that she feels for you and you have been thinking of ways for her to show she really does care. But where do you draw the line? You could stage it so that she catches you in bed with a girl and then watch her reaction. I think this is heading into dangerous territory! It's human nature to get jealous sometimes and people suffer from it in varying degrees. She says she doesn't get jealous, which may or may not be true. But if she's telling the truth, I would say that it just shows she trusts you and realises that the past is exactly that - in the past and that you two should enjoy the present together.

[Cockney_si]

My girls grandmother died after all so I got most of the emotional stuff to deal with in a different way. Thanks for your views.

 

Cockney_si