Please obey these rules on holiday

[mrs_overall]

I live in a seaside town and here are some simple rules for you to obey if you are a tourist

1. Do NOT feed the seagulls. It causes them to become incontinent and vacate their bowels on the cars belonging to locals
2. Do not walk four abreast along the pavement causing locals laden with shopping to step into the road
3. Do not meander all over the pavement & then stop suddenly to point at something, causing a local laden with shopping to crash into you
4. If it rains, do not wander en masse around the sole supermarket, getting in the way of harrassed locals doing their shopping. And stop moaning that "it's far cheaper at home"
5. Don't let your dog cr@p on the beach and then tell a local "the tide will wash it away"
6. Don't ask locals ridiculous questions, such as "where will I find Dracula's house?". He wasn't a real person!
7. Do not park your camper van overnight in a residential street and then make things worse by failing to draw the curtains
8. Do not drive the wrong way down a one way street and then tell the local driver you almost hit that you are a tourist. Don't you have no entry signs where you come from?

Mrs O - disgruntled local

[whitbybabe]

Did you really lug all your shopping bags onto the beach to watch that naughty dog?

[redman41]

I'll come and stay in your Guest House Mrs O !
I'll help you push the Camper Van out of the way ! :-))

[mrs_overall]

rofl Den!

I've stepped in to help friends out who have B&B's and been very patient with people who spend 15 minutes dithering over whether to have a fried or boiled egg.

If I had a B&B I'd be like Basil Fawlty in a frock

[DEN53]

Will that be a double room then, Redman for you and the Tesco flasher... hahaha

[mrs_overall]

Why would I take shopping on the beach????
I went onto the beach after I did the school run and then went shopping in town

[Noraq]

Ah Mrs..we have them here too.
Do not ask:
Wheres the nearest internet cafe?
'' " MacDonalds?
" " Tesco
Ask the Barman for Sex on the Beach

You left all those things behind in the City!!...... Why?

[whitbybabe]

Thought you were in a better mood now ? It was a joke.

[redman41]

Fancy a Holiday up North DEN ?
I'm sure Mrs O cooks a mean breakfast !! lol

[DEN53]

Mrs. O - I can just picture you dishing up the breakfast, fag in the corner of your mouth, blowing the fag ash off their under cooked fried egg, asking if anybody would like an extra sausage as there are some creamated in the kitchen.......(:o)

[hellywelly4]

I can SO relate to you, Mrs O, having lived in Skeggie for 30 years!! Moved away 8 years ago, it's lovely not to have to walk in the road because the pavements are blocked with slow folk.
They used to call the Leicester holiday 'chissit week' because apparently all the people from Leicester used to say 'How much is sit?'. (I'm originally from Leicester so don't get cross, Leicester people!

[carmalee]

golden rule should be - when encountering ladened local avoiding arm entwined strollers, relieve her of the shopping and treat her to slap up meal in local noshery.

[hellywelly4]

PS I do love Whitby!

[mrs_overall]

What Den - a bit like a downmarket Hilda Ogden?

[DEN53]

Oh no, theres nothing downmarket about you Mrs. O. I would say a posh Hilda Ogden with Cybil Fawlty's style and charm................(:o)

[TWR]

Just think of the revenue the Tourist brings into your town Mrs Overall, I think I could put up with all you have said especially when I check my takings lol lol