Oiiiiiii moony!
1) I will have you know I only drink hot beverages from fine bone china, tut.
2) When did you last swim off Bournemouth beach? Have you not seen the seagulls hovering over the sewage outlet pipe?
3) 'Or would that put too much of a strain on her cozzie?' I read 'stain' for 'strain' :o(
4) You would not have to drive home after being butler for the day. There is a perfectly good (well, almost reasonable) kennel going begging in the garden. Ask nicely and the foxs will move over for you. You will have a whale of a time xx ☺