Suicide

[numnum]

My mums boyfriend of 16 years hung himself last week. my mum found him when she got in from work

we are all trying to come to terms with things but just feel very low. i never thanked him for everything he has done over the eyars and am now feeling sad that rather than helping him with his drink problems/depresion and maybe realised its a mental illness

we all feel very sad. has anyone else had to go through this awful experience? it makes you think how low and depresed you must be to go trhough with it and the whole time he could have stopped it as the chair was within reach

[albaqwerty]

condolences to you and your mum.

The worst thing is the guilt that the living are left with. There is nothing that you, your mum or anyone else could have done to prevent this.

There is a deep dark place where the person goes and decides they'd be better off out of this life and everyone else would be better off without them.

[icemaiden]

Oh numnum, that's very sad for you and your Mum.

I cannot add to albaqwerty as he really says it all. I just hope in time you and your Mum come to terms with what has happened and that you both could not have done anything to stop him. Think of the good times you had with him...the laughs, the hugs, the jokes.

[ummmm]

So sorry :-(

Like the others said there is nothing you could have done.

[NoMercy]

My 24-year-old brother hanged himself. It took me a while to finally get on with my life and accept that he made his own decision, but I'm glad I did. Yes, you will naturally remonstrate and feel guilty/responsible for what happened, that's all part of process with a suicide-related death. Sometimes people don't want help.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

[mccfluff]

so sorry :-(

[numnum]

thank you for your messages

i wrote on here a while ago about a credit card he took out in his name to help his' bosses business and the boss wasn't paying much back to pay the debt off. will this debt now be written off or passed onto my mum. its not a joint account.

[ummmm]

If it's in his name solely it will be written off.

[bednobs]

no

[WELSHYORKIE]

NumNum - so sorry for your loss. There are a couple of us on here who have lost loved ones recently and can certainly relate to what you must be going through. Alba has said it all really but I would like to say that the 10 weeks since I lost my wife have been filled with tears, yes, but also I have recounted all the good times with friends, family and also here on AB by joining in some of the threads that take us back in time. There are many good peoiple on this site that will always be willing to help you with good advice, a kind word and support. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

[Old_Geezer]

Try to put any feelings of guilt aside, they would be inappropriate. Ultimately it is the choice of the individual, there is no reason to believe you or any of your family could have done things differently for a different outcome. I believe such a decision is more of an internal thing for the individual, than external.

[ummmm]

bednobs - no it won't be written off or no it won't be passed on?

[Noraq]

Numnum..I am very sorry for your loss..try and be there for your Mam as much as you can. x

[woofgang]

no It won't be passed to your Mum. They aren't in a legal relationship and the card was in his sole name I assume?

[Old_Geezer]

Surely it would come out of the estate ?

[ummmm]

If he had one.

[ummmm]

If you have proof that he lent it to his boss then they might chase the boss.

[andy-hughes]

I am so sorry for your loss.

As others have said, albaqwerty has summed it up - but feelings of guit and futile anger are part of the grieving process, so you should let these feelings pass through, and away, which they will.