joining Finances when getting married

[BobbyBobBob]

Hi

My partner and I are getting married soon and she wants to join all finances together ie. income, debts etc. Right now we have a joint account and our seperate accounts. All her family had joined everything together once married but all mine have had a joint account and still kept their own account too. This is how I would like to keep it. My partner earns a great deal more than me and if we joined everything together I would feel uncomfortable buying things for myself (which isnt often) dipping into joint finances as I dont earn very much. Its not like I'm earing the most but don't want to share!!
Also I love to treat her by saving up and suprising her with things but if we joined all finances I would'nt be able to do this.

Am I being unreasonable, surely there is a comprimise we can come to as I really don't like the idea of having absolutely everything joint? I like to be quite independant in that respect!!

Thanks

[Jan1957]

My husband and I have never had a joint account and we've been married nearly 26 years and we both like it that way. I'm like you, if I want to save up and buy him something I don't want him to know, and vice versa. We pay all the bills from my account and do the shopping from his account. If one of us gets short the other then transfers some over to them. It's worked for us.

[whiskeryron]

My wife & myself always had a joint account for all bills mortgage, leccy,Gas, Water, insurances Groceries Holidays etc. We worked out both incomes & outgoings & any surplus we split between us & had our own savings accounts which were topped up either weekly or monthly. If we had a maintenance car or house bill to pay we each drew half each from private savings, it worked out very well indeed.Ron.

[rowanwitch]

work out your annual household expenditure open a new joint household account and pay in a share either 50-50 or relative to your individual incomes that covers it with a bit to spare (you are sure to forget something) the rest keep separate... I would also suggest any debts you bring to the relationship remain your responsibility too unless she really wants to help pay them off for you...its one of those things that comes back to bite you when the initial lovey dovey phase wears off... and its hard to have an equal relationship when one 'owes ' the other

[bednobs]

i am like you. we've been together for 17 years and we have a Joint acc which covers mortgage, bills and the occasional meal out etc. We both get paid into our own accounts then transfer the amount we need to into the joint.
Shopping for food is something that's not covered but we kind of rub along with whoever has the most money at the time pays

[milly143]

I think you are being totally reasonable. Having a joint account for bills, etc is a good idea but you should have your own account in which to hold some of your own money if you wish. I wouldn't like for every penny I earned to be held in a joint account.