marriage in trouble

[cathyphelan]

Im 9mths pregnant due in 5 days.when was 6mths pregnant i had a big arguement with my husband and it got very physical.I wanted to leave him but im afraid im depenent on him financially.im kenyan and he's English.I lived in England for 6 yrs .i had problems with my visa and had t go back home for a year and because i wasn't working i spent all my savings.I have never forgiven my husband.I want to leave,but we are now living in swiss and i don't have a job.i feel that when i leave i will not afford to look after my son.It's not the first time it's been physical with my hubby and im afraid it will happen again.I used to be bubbly but all that is gone.He even calls me names.im 34 and he's 54.I now i need help.What shall do??

[miss_chase]

cathy, i really feel for you and i wish you all the love and support you need.

there are lots of organisations that can help you. try the bbc website as a start

www.bbc.co.uk/health/hh

or try www.refuge.co.uk you can ring them on a freephone number 0808 2000 247 any time.

You might also find the hospital can help when you get there (after giving birth of course)

Good luck and hope the birth goes well.

x

[louadams6]

Hi Cathy

I, the same as miss_chase, wish you all the love and support and all the very best. Have found the phone number of a swiss womens refuge http://www.frauenhaus-schweiz.ch/d_bern.html . Please contact them and im sure they will give you all the advice and support that you need. Or as Miss_chase states the hospital im sure will help you.

Please let us know how you get on, will be thinking of you, good luck with the birth, hope all goes well x

[mycatis]

Cath, I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. You could try speaking to Womens Aid or the equilvalent in your country. They are very good at helping women in trouble not just to get you into refuge, if you don't want to leave they won't try and make you, but they will advise you of your rights and support you in whatever you want to do. Look in your local phone book or on internet.
Good luck and best wishes x x

[holden]

first thing to do is tell someone, maybe jour Doctor, and he will put you on the right track, to get some councloing and support from a womensrefugee. It is not r ok for your Husband to hitt jou, or be verbally abusive. believe me it wont change and it want get better. my Husband of 40 jears, does not hitt me but is verbally abusive. i ave yoined a Womensgroup which helped me alot, now i stand up to him, and i, have become much more confident.you need urgent Help, and maybe go to a womensrefuge, he should never hit jou when jou are pregnant, or anyother time. get help now!!!

[AKParrotHead]

I'm sorry for your troubles. I hope your birth went well and your son is healthy. I have watched my friend in an abusive relationship for 6 years. It started out not so bad and my friend would state that her husband was sorry, stressed, etc. always making excuses for him. They had two beautiful boys together and those boys are growing up thinking it's okay to treat women that way. The cycle will continue with her boys and they will most likely treat their wives and girlfriends with the same abusive attitude they are learning from their father. LEAVE NOW!!! Before it gets worse. There are programs out there for you. My friend always says she wouldn't be able to support her boys financially but that's not what matters! It's the well being of her children that matters above all else. Thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you find the courage to leave before your husband takes his anger out on your child.