ChatterBank2 mins ago
I hope that you find these old jokes funny .......
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers (supposedly)
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint, we have digital watches!”
****************
Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Centre, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
****************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long take off queue: “I’m f…ing bored!”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f…ing bored, not f…ing stupid!”
****************
O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this...I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”
****************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar ATC asked. “What was your last known position?”
Student: “When I was number one for take off.”
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers (supposedly)
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint, we have digital watches!”
****************
Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Centre, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
****************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long take off queue: “I’m f…ing bored!”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f…ing bored, not f…ing stupid!”
****************
O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this...I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”
****************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar ATC asked. “What was your last known position?”
Student: “When I was number one for take off.”
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