Why are so many people without Honour?

[R1Geezer]

Time and again here and elsewhere I hear of examples where people lend money to a relative, a friend, a child a sibling, usually out of kindness becuase official channels are closed. Yet time and again those people try and get out of repaying it. Why do people find it so easy to welch on debts? If I owed you money you'd get it regardless of whether we'd fallen out, I just don't understand this, why are so many devoid of personal honour?

[evil__sheep]

i think they are just devoid of money, not honour. The fact that other routes are closed to them, and they need to borrow means they won't be able to pay it back anyway

[R1Geezer]

yes, I see, valid point, the sorts of people who cannot borrow from normal sources have already reneged on agreements so doing it to friends or family is just the next step.

[sherrardk]

I disagree - we were in a position where we need to borrow money from family (my dad took out a loan for us) and I have religiously paid him back every month (regardless of how skint we we at the time). Don't tar everyone with the same brush. Unless you have been in that position you don't know how desperate it feels.

[murraymints]

although..in my cas i loaned my brother a substantial amount a couple of years ago as he was made redundant etc...he is now raking it in as an architect in canada and has made no contact with any of the family as obviously hhad no intentions ao paying back...he now has a huge house has flown his family over and would appear to in addition to a jag has a boat !!!

[SpikeyBush]

Years ago when I was buying my first car my Grandfather found out that I was applying for a loan from the bank. He offered to lend me the money interest free, his point of view being that there was no need for the bank to make more money out of his family when he had plenty to spare. But he quite wisely insisted on a written agreement in place independantly witnessed in case our relationship soured before it was all paid back. Relations did not sour, but unfortunately he passed away only a few months into the agreement. The presence of this agreement helped with the division of his estate and undoubtedly avoided any family arguments over me getting out of repaying the rest of the loan as the outstanding amount was taken into account when calculating my share of his estate.

[R1Geezer]

I'm not talking about cases like yours sherrard, you're paying the arrangement is good.

Murraymints, he is exactly what I'm talking about, no amount of prosperity can get his honour back.

[classylady60]

It must be soul destroying not to mention heartbreaking et al after someone lends money in good faith to a person they trust and feel sure will pay them back only for that person (like mm's brother) to be totally uncaring not to pay the loan back. I was fortunate in that my granddaughter to whom I lent the money interest free to buy a car, paid it back regularly month after month. /Finishing the payments last week, she turned up with a bottle of wine and a lovely thank you card for me lending her the money. What a shame that some people can't do similar and be grateful for the loan they were given.

[alexanderd]

I found out my neice was about to take out a bank loan at some exhorbitant rate of interest. Leant her the money and she made out a direct debit to pay me back monthly. No problem

[scotman]

Most people's behaviour reflects the upbringing and example set by their parents.
For Murraymints - Given that it was your brother one can assume you knew him fairly well. Did you expect him to pay you back?

[SpikeyBush]

What happens if you have a massive argument tomorrow and part on real bad terms?

[DTCwordfan]

Herbert Hoover

“When there is a lack of honor in government, the morals of the whole people are poisoned.”

End of the philosophy for tonight.

[karenmac60]

I would never borrow money from friends or family. It has been offered many times but I could never bring myself to do it - I would feel too guilty if they were then struggling and I owed them. I'd much rather pay interest on it than see someone else go without on my behalf.

[Ellipsis]

We always lend and borrow money in the family where possible. We actually do pay interest, usually somewhere between the bank's savings rate and borrowing rate so that both parties benefit. The other main benefit is that if there's a problem with repayment, it can be dealt with more sensitively than the average bank manager would be.

The arrangement is totally based on trust and honour. The idea of defaulting is unthinkable...

[sandyRoe]

"...the longer he talked of his honour, the harder we counted the spoons."

[R1Geezer]

that's good to hear Elipsis. Lending within the family is good if it's possible but just one bad apple can spoil it.

Spikey, as I said above falling out is irrelevant, if you lent me money and then we had a falling out I would still repay you.