friday afternoon complain

[mccfluff]

names have been changed to protect the guilty. but this is a genuine complaint i have received.

Hi i wud like to put in a complaint bout the man who delivers ur paper down our road..on 7th july on station rd ***** the man dliverd our paper, at 2.30pm..i looked outta the window to see him standin in my 90yr old neighbors garden doin a wee up her fence. I went out to confront him, i askd him if he knew how to use a loo, his reply woz he woz bustin for a wee. I then told him my 7yr old dawta cud ave seen that his reply woz she shudn be lookin!..i,v told him hes disgustin! U print an article today bout a flasher down station rd yet 1 of ur dlivery men are goin round doin that..if no action is taken i will take this furtherr

[LoftyLottie]

Dear Sp.Ed.

My name has been took in vain on your site by a Mr Ankou person.

Mrs Lofty Lottie.

[AB Editor]

Think I've posted this one before? Someone thought we were Morrisons:

As a member of staff of a well-known celebrity performing tonight in Bradford who is very much partial to your freshly baked meat and potato pies, it is with sad declaration to announce their dissatisfied with a couple of said pies purchased at your store in Mayo Avenue whereby the content was made up of a sparsity of meat and mostly that of mashed potatoes.

One can understand these are hard times; whereby production has to be limited and cost effective. But Morrison's is a wealthy company and for it to lower itself to such depths is tantamount to pure greed.

Suffice it to say, we will not be purchasing from your store(s) in future and will pass this complaint on to others.

Regards,

[Name Redacted, but probably Mr. Ankou]

[mccfluff]

http://www.dearcustom...nny-complaint-letter/

some good un's here

[ummmm]

This makes good bath time reading...

http://www.amazon.co....e-Hands/dp/1840245344

[Barmaid]

I once lost a case for someone against whom the evidence was overwhelming.

I received this little "bijou".

Dear Miss BM

Your (sic) a C***

Yours sincerely

Defendant who lost

Funnily enough, part of the case was to do with harassment by sending offensive letters.........

[Ankou]

its a fair cop ab ed, but morissons done me right.
thats why i keep plugging the £3.79 valentino, oh and the new and improved 'mystery meat' pies.

[mccfluff]

lol BM, what a nice letter

[B00]

This has been a favourite of mine for years....

http://www.funny-stuf...tral.com/accident.php

[Barmaid]

I always loved this one. I am sure women would appreciate it:-

http://francetales.co...unny-consumer-letter/

[jno]

here ya go, B00, straight from the horse's mouth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUJLO6lMhI

[ethandron]

whilst in france recently we noticed - and not for the first time - that men will whip it out and pee anywhere. this time, the most noticeable in all ways, was the rather smartly dresses (formal trousers, formal shirt open, open neck, sleeves turned neatly up) dapper middle aged monsieur who pulled into the busy local supermarket car park, got out of his car and went to one side of the large recycling bins for a pee. you couldn't actually see his bits but you could see the stream of pee.
would this happen in your local asda/tesco/waitrose? if it did, would he be arrested for lewed behaviour or exposing himself or some other crime?
another question springs to mind - where do all the madams go for a pee? we must have seen at least a dozen french men just standing at the side of the road doing what comes naturally but no french ladies squatting down doing what also comes naturally. why?

[notasyoungasiwas]

I've just come back to this site for another bellylaugh - you can't beat it! Love, love, love the letter about Always.