Film, Media & TV4 mins ago
Regular Sex
Problem is i like to have sex at least 3-4 times a week but my wife would be more than happy to have sex 3-4 a month. What is normal? have i got a high sex drive or is the wife normal?
She says i want it to much, thing is when we do it she loves it, which is not bad after 22yrs of been married.
Answers
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I'm female and I have a very high sex drive. I always want it more than once a day which isn't always possible as my partner often has to work away. He is more than happy with my very high sex drive and he's never turned it down in the four years we've been together. He still jokes about me not being like 'normal girls' and often calls me a nymph! I'm shocked at your wifes 3-4 a month I couldn't manage and would get frustrated thats why I have a collection of sex toys and four vibrators to keep me going if my boyfriend is away and I also have a bit on the side which my boyfriend has never suspected or would even think I was capable of. That is just a purely sex relationship which suits us both fine. You should try different ways to seduce her,do whatever it takes to turn her on/get her going so she cant refuse. If all else fails get yourself a bit on the side/a f*** buddy as long as you definatly wont get caught then whats the harm.
Variation in sex drive is like vfariation in hair colour - everyone is a little bit different.
The differences in sex drive between couples can often be a major source of conflcit, but one way to avoid that is to not make it anyone's 'fault' for being the way they are. It's simply a difference, and it's too easy to slip into a blame / normalcy culture which is destructive.
Counselling may help you to talk through your feelings in a more structured way, and may help you to reach a suitable compromise, and stop this being an ongoing negative aspect of your relationship.
I'm going to put the cat among the pigoens with this one, the key word here is WIFE, now I love mine, and would'nt change her for the world, but when you get married, women change, obviously, at different times, but they do, bet before you got married it was 3-4 times a week, if you love her, you have to put up with it, as a sage said, on one of the points ffor men to keep healthy, Masturbate once a day to keep your emotions healthy, (no shame in that),there were others, but they're not relevent here,
Now I sit back and wait for the flack.
What you have to do is look at nature. Ducks, monkeys, pigs, whatever! The males are CHARGED with sex drive. It is their job to impregnate and spread their seed! It is natural- they have to reproduce themselves to ensure the race continues. The females are NOT like that! Have you ever seen a duck courting a female duck? He follows her around, pays her loads of attention, fights off other ducks, and eventually, she lets him do her. She sits there with her back to him and lets him do the deed. Then he is off without so much as a by your leave!
Women are NOT like men. Yes, there are some who love sex and want it several times a day etc. But on the whole, men are PROGRAMMED to have as much sex as possible and women are programmed to have babies and raise them. I am generalising.
Women will have lots of sex when securing their partner, and then will not feel the need to as time goes on. Men, however, NEED to keep having sex. They don't seem to understand that that horny feeling they have all the time, women just don't have! Unless they have been doing foreplay for 4 hours.
You know how you feel after you have just had sex- kids of "neutral", and you couldn't possibly do it again? Sex-less? That is how women feel most of the time. That's why they need SO much flirting/effort/seducing/foreplay. It is much harder for women to get into it. Men can just do it.
I realise I have generalised here, and that everyone is different. But I don;t think men realise HOW different women are to them.
If she's suddenly gone off sex then maybe there's something else bothering her. Money issues, depression, general stress...dare I say early menopause? I agree with Woofgang, this is something you aren't going to sort out on here, you need to talk to your wife. After 22 years I'd hope that you both know each other well enough to sense if something is wrong. You never know - while you were with your 25 yr old, maybe your wife hooked up with a hot young man of her own and she's getting all she needs from him!
I'm sick of men complaining about womens attitude to sex, no matter what research has been done noone really knows what's going on behind the scenes. You all need to read The Bride Stripped Bare, that'll open your eyes!