How can I ensure my son has a strong relationship with his father if we move away?

[Smithy_778]

I have an eight year old son with my ex boyfriend, we haven't been together since 2004 but have always gotten along for the sake of our son. My ex is now married and his wife is expecting their first child together. I was offered a job in America but we all live in England, I am single and this job would be such a wonderful opportunity for me to advance in my career. I am concerned about how my son will be able to maintain the strong relationship he has with his father though. It's going to be difficult enough when the new baby comes along and I wouldn't expect him to turn to his wife and say right I'm leaving for two weeks to fly off to America and leave her to struggle with the baby. I haven't accepted the job yet but need to make a decision soon, any thoughts?

[tillyh345]

Im not sure I can give you any advise here, but I just wanted to say how refreshing it is in the day and age hearing of someone who is putting their childs thoughts before their own. Whatever decision you make I am sure it will be the right one for you and your son. But I will say that, he can keep in touch with his father by skype and the old fashioned writing a letter, to tell him all about his new life, and I am sure if they both want it they will survive the separation. You are allowed to have a life as well and if you really want the position, do it, you may regret it. The very best of luck in whatever decision u make xx

[jd_here]

If it is to your advantage to take the job in the US, then take it. Your son will be able to see and talk to his father regularly by downloading SKYPE. Good luck

[leatrix]

Hi there, i had a similar situation, but the opposite way round, my ex hubby and I get on very well and he is a contractor and had to move overseas for his business. I think the key is the fact you both get along for the sake of your son. Because without that a child struggles with loss, if your son (like my son who was 8 when this happened) knows that deep down he knows it won't be the last time he'll see his Dad he should be ok.

Keep talking regularly over Skype/Webcam/Phone calls etc...and i can tell you know, the best thing my son recieved was every other month, his Dad would send him a recorded message through the post (cause kids *love* getting mail from their away parents) and now he's 15, and his Dad has returned from overseas, he still gets the little dvd out now and again to watch it.

It won't be easy, i know, but if your son can see that moving to the USA will mean a better life for him and you, and your ex is willing to move mountains to keep up 'across the miles' contact, you should find the whole experience worthwhile.

Write a good ole list of pro's and cons, show your son (if he's old enough to understand) and don't forget moving to foreign climes often gives children a wonderful opportunity to experience other cultures.

Good luck! :0)