To stop or not to stop?

[Jemisa]

I've got a couple of Great/Nieces (My nephews girls), we've always been fairly close and since they were born I've always given them money for their B/days.& Christmas I feel now though (they both are in full time employment) its a bit embarassing as one is 21 & the other 19. & a tenner in their cards seems.. Well not right.
What do you think? & What would you do.?

jem

[Dee Sa]

I stop when the family member becomes 18, I give larger than usual donation for the 18th birthday and then explain nicely that now they are an adult it will only be a card, same for xmas, I feel having done this for 18 years is enough.
I dont mean my immediate family but nieces , nephews and cousins and god children etc .

[Jemisa]

Hmmm! I've missed the boat there Dee but the eldest is 21 next month so perhaps I can use that as a cut off point. Thanks for the idea.

jem

[Dee Sa]

Jem happy you like the idea & what happened to "thank you" letters ? I was made to sit and write them, but nowadays they all take it for granted.

[lorri24601]

i do the same as Dee, but when they get to 21.I reasoned that it would be easier to finish then as it seemed like a natural cut off point :-)

[starone]

Stop. If they have jobs they have money and not only that but you probably need it more than they. However if they are at uni or something like that they may need it although it will probably be spent in riotous living. I am judging this by my two grandsons.

[Ratty2E]

Our nieces and nephews still get birthday money or a gift if they can let us know what they want (around £20) We have stopped doing Christmas for the older ones in their 20's and stopped giving to their parents a while ago too. There are so many little ones coming along it was getting silly.

[funnygirl]

I am like Dee. I stop when they become 18. I also do one last special one when they become 21.

[Old_Geezer]

It is an awkward situation.

When my niece turned 18 (not too long ago) I gave a much larger present than normal in the hope that it was understood she had gone from the 'special' child treatment to a time when she was to be treated like the other adults. Now I have to recall in a few years time what I did then, for when my nephew gets to the same age !

I guess you could do something similar, but in the interest of being fair to each, make it an older age ? I'd have suggested 21 but one of your couple is already there. How about 25 then ?

[Old_Geezer]

Ah you said one is 21 and then corrected to say they will be 21 ? There's your exit point then.

[joggerjayne]

I still like getting money for my birthday, and I'm forty ... "and a bit".

There's nothing wrong with a tenner, to take off to the betting - err, I mean "book" - shop.

[Jules001]

In our family we give until the nephew/niece turns 18 and then stop until their 21st when we give a slightly larger amount and then that is it. I am sure that they will understand, ours have no problems with it.

[Old_Geezer]

You mean the book-ies ?

[bednobs]

i agree with JJ. if you can afford it and still want to then i guaruntee the tenner you give them will not go to waste, even if for something frivolous like a couple of g and t's on the day. If you don't want to do it anymore, then do as others' suggestions

[Jemisa]

Its not that I don't want to do it any more I just feel its now inappropriate, the eldest is a model and earns multi-bucks & my little tenner is a drop in the ocean, & the 19 year old is a Nail technition and doing v/well thankyou.
I think I'll opt for a nice amount at 21 and a statement in the card to explain why.
And Dee you're right about the 'Thankyou' call or letter. when they were kids yes I got them because Mum reminded them, Now nothing. I don't even know really whether they recieve the money.

jem