is it considered abuse when a parent cusses at their kids

[star57]

I've been getting this from my mom and step dad since i was a kid,my step dad is now past away for almost 8 years now,I'm almost 26 and still get my mom to scream cuss words at me when she's mad it bothers me cause when i was younger i was verbally abused by my mom and step dad both when she calls me names now it just brings back bad memories of when i was a kid and causes me to lash out,is what she is doing wrong?when i tell her about it she just tells me to shut the f*** up that she can say whatever she wants to me.

[star57]

Sorry i meant f*** u

[ummmm]

I don't know. They are only words really. I think it's wrong to swear at your children. But I was brought up by swearers...

They didn't actually swear at me....they just swore a lot (not my mum,she doesn't swear). The words ended up meaning nothing. It's actions you should think about.

Are they/were they, good parents besides the swearing?

[sandyRoe]

If effing and blinding was usually the way they spoke then it wouldn't be abuse. It's not very genteel, but it's not abuse.
If parents kept putting their child down, always telling them they were worthless and the like, that would be abuse. They wouldn't need to use swear words to do it.

[Ric.ror]

Your 26 cut the cord

[lynbrown]

I would count that as abuse. You are still hurt by it. Sounds like your mum is past changing, so you need to rebuild your life, perhaps without her? Tell her what you think, give her a chance to improve her behaviour, but if that has no effect, move on. Be a better person yourself, despite her appalling actions. I hope you have a good friend who can help you through this.

[bednobs]

you are both adults. If you don't like the way she treats you, stop seeing her

[Ankou]

yes if you were a kid, this would be verbal abuse.

but you are 26, walk away.

[jackthehat]

You are in charge of your own life.
Get your own place where your Mum, sister and niece cannot torment you any longer.

[Old_Geezer]

I think it a matter of opinion.

I don't find 'cuss' words a problem and tend to be amazed at the fuss some folk make. That said continual use in normal conversation is always going to make a poor impression.

IMO swearing is best avoided while kids are young so they don't pick up the habit; and yelling at folk ought not be a regular thing anyway. It shows a situatino has escalated further than it ought to have. But we all get irate at times and ought not beat ourselves up for the occasional incident. It's part of life. And at 26 I'd reckon folk would take it in their stride.

If it bothers you that much, best thing is to stay away.

[RATTER15]

Almost certainly is abuse!! but at your age? just walk away!

[boxtops]

Given your problems with anxiety that you've told us about before, this can't be helping (or might indeed be contributing to the cause). Is there anywhere else you can live, so you don't have put up with this?

[star57]

@Boxtops Not really my older sister is always having problems with her land lords,my other sister has a son with autism so things are really hard for her,so the only place i can stay is here

[chrissa1]

Well if you have to live there, it'll have to be a case of "sticks and stones" Star57.

[LoftyLottie]

To me screaming at kids and calling them names (even if not using swear words) is abuse.

But you are 26 now and you have to make up your own mind whether to put up with it or make a determined effort to find somewhere to live on your own. Do you work, have you any way of supporting yourself?

I don't know what country you live in, but here you would get some sort of support with benefits if you find yourself some rented accommodation. You don't have to live at home or with other relatives.

[Booldawg]

get a swear box. sounds like you'll have enough to buy your own place in no time.

[RATTER15]

Sometimes we have to learn to stand on our own two feet!!

[boxtops]

I think Star lives in the States - have a look at her previous posts.