Ooopsie

[Barmaid]

I just finished a phone call which had made me really mad. I stood in the garden and used some errrrr "industrial" language.

A few minutes later my mobile rang and it was the person I had just been talking to. To his credit he was killing himself laughing. He said "next time you want to complain like that, make sure you've hung up first".........

[237SJ]

My solicitor friend used to be cabin crew and she was working on a Dublin flight. The passenger was enjoying his drink and bag of peanuts but she wanted to put his dinner down onto his tray. She said "Can you grab your nuts"? She never told me whether he did or not..

[Barmaid]

lol Daisy - I am sure lemsip spat on a lappy goes sticky after a while!!! Fantastic.

[Barmaid]

Some really funny stuff coming out now. Makes me feel so much better.

[BAKERS DOZEN]

When I first started work at the magistrates' court I was inputting results from the courts onto the computer. Each offence had a code and I had an alphabetical list of offences. Some offences were quite common so once you'd learnt the codes it was quite an easy job , but not so good if you accidently looked up the wrong code and for a week every person charged with burglary ended up with a sentence and a fine for buggery! Explain that one to your wife if she opens the post!!

[Barmaid]

You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given in evidence ............ lmao

[Barmaid]

lmao Bakers Dozen!! How funny.