Discipline Plans

[numnum]

Here I go again about discipline...

I'm going to write down how I discipline the kids so my ex is doing the same. Does anyone else do this? I was just thinking of keeping it short eg

if he bites... how we deal with it
if he throws a toy across the room/at sisters head we should confiscate it
if he spits we try and get him to make rasberry noises on his hands to stop the spitting
if he pulls hair.... still not found a solution to that apart from get untangled and put him in his room for 5 minutes (5 minutes was suggested by health visitor and i find it helps)
if we think its completely out of order what hes' done, tell him no morning snack and remove from room for 5 minutes

make sure we follow through a punishment


The reason I'm feeling the need to do this, is because my memory is that bad i want to try and be consistent with thir rows and also decide what should be a row because there so OTT all day i think we need to decide what we should be pulled up and what not

from the minute they get up till bed time most days it is a constant fight so I'm feeling this is needed to deal with them. I've said in the past i've tried everything so this is me finally putting the foot down on it all and want to make sure we're both singing from the same hyme sheet

Does anyone else have kids like this??

[tenrec]

Don't forget to focus on the good points and give them plenty of praise. It is all too easy to get bogged down with bad behaviour. Good luck.

[sara3]

how old are they?

[woofgang]

Kids need their food.....not sure if withholding the snack is a good idea....

[Barmaid]

I'm not a parent numnum, but one of the major issues with the OH's children is inconsistent parenting - consequently nothing my OH says works since the elder child just knows her mother will over rule it.

Nice idea though to think of a system and agree to it.

[numnum]

20 months and 3 1/2.

im that lost with what to do with them. i try everything. i praise them all the time and even something like that can cause a battle or lead to a tantrum

we go swimming, walks, out to the park, drives, visitng their friends, toddlers once a week, and on days the weather is poor i've got boxes full of indoor things, we're always baking, painting, creating something, they have all their toys out and i also have boxes that are away with different themes. e.g music toys, jigsaws, dress up, tea party. as well as their toys i always set up a differnt theme for them come down to in the morning. but even trying to play with toys they have no interst

[numnum]

woofgang - their snack is just something like a rich tea or digestive. they get good meals at breakfast, lunch and dinner and the snack is a little thing inbetween thats part of our routine where we all sit at the table and would be a big thing if they weren't allowed it

yeah, a system sounds good to me. i think the way my kids are theres no point me doing something for my ex to do something else then for them to wonder who do they listen to (if they'll ever listen!!!)

[fairycakes69]

Sticker chart and naughty chair helped with my lot, had one who liked to bite everyone except me. Tried everything and found ignoring and making a fuss of who she bit worked. They do not like to be ignored. I know its hard ,and you feel so worn down with them. Spent many a summer night on the door step with a bar of chocolate and a few tears,the joys of 5 kids in 5 years. But made it, not sure how. they now range between 18 and 23. Hang on it there, you can do it, your a mum, we can deal with anything they throw at us.

[ummmm]

How often does your Ex see them?

[firewatch]

try a sticker chart for him, and get him to choose the stickers we have a kindness chart where anyone in our house or when we are visiting our 'second home ' does or is kind or amelia displays really good behaviour then she gets to choose a sticker as does the person doing the kind act ie helping with dishes picking shoping up cooking a meal well behaved when out (works for hubby too) then we get stickers. if i have a good day with my depression i get mi to put me a sticker on the chart. she can be quite violent at times and the promiss of no sticker tends to work. also praising good behaviour and ignoring the bad works wonders, tell him he is special and when he doing good things tell him he is being great and praise him up. I have written down family rules and found that as my husband works long hours having them written down works wonders and our disipline has become more equal.hope this helpsxx

[joeluke]

'if he bites

if he throws a toy across the room/at sisters head

if he spits

if he pulls hair'


Discipline needed

[bednobs]

what do you think this post is all about joeluke?

[boxtops]

what do you mean, a different theme each day, numnum? Is there a lot of change in their life, different things each day? My mum used to change things all the time when I was under 3 years old, to try to "keep things interesting", I found it really unsettling, familiar things kept changing. Perhaps you just need to not prepare for them getting up in the morning - just let them get on with it, and see what happens.

[joeluke]

bednobs......proper discipline

[joeluke]

Short sharp tap on the hand every time he did it

It would soon stop and chld wouldn't turn out to be a brat

[numnum]

i've tried the tap on the hand and get laughed at. i done it everytime he done something wrong for about a 3 or 4 week period. my mum even tried that and she couldn't believe after 4 slaps over the hand how he had no reaction and thought it was a game. i do think when they are older they'll get snacks, I did and its done me no harm, but at their age its just not working

he sees them every night but its that complicated. we were renovating a house together. its been over a year and with no money now to do it, time is very important and the house needs to be worked on everyday to get it finished and get some normality back. this really wouldn't have an effect on the kids because when he's working at the house they think he's at work like any other dad. we do still have family days out to the swimming pool and do normal things

my different theme is more just toys from upstairs. we never go up there because our room is up there and to many little things for them to get hold of (i refuse to child proof another room since my whole house is empty because i have interfeerers!!!) also my daughters room is up there and she now has lots of small toys. so i go up and take different toys down. they still have most of their toys in the playroom and livingroom but for e.g today i brought down their dressing up toys, a few days ago, their music box. its not like im forcing them to play with music toys or dress up but its just for some change since the weather has been bad and not getting out much

i do leave them to get on with it but there just not interested in playing