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starone | 09:19 Sun 27th Nov 2011 | Jokes
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This morning I went to the Job Centre to sign my dogs up for dole. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw dole." So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in colour, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no clue who their Dads are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.

My dogs get their first cheques next Friday.

Damn, this is a great country.
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Shoot me down folks - feel free - but I'd put this one in the racist rather than funny pile.
BTW you missed out gay and disabled from the list.
I'm not offended starbuck, but I feel this kinda contributes to the caustic drip that ascribes negative qualities to specific groups for no empirical reason.
I'm with Mosaic on this one.
Lighten up Mosaic, its just light humour, hardly offensive.

Im lucky, my dog has a job, he is a blacksmith......... if you stick a hot poker up his arse he will make a bolt for the door! :)
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I don't understand this racist thing. The man next door is from Jamaica and tells me he is the black sheep of the family. If you can't laugh at yourself you will never get on with anyone. I don't mind if someone calls me old, fat and height challenged because I am. The black man next door also tells me that when he was working and there was a strike he decided he wouldn't join and he didn't care if they called him whiteleg (in case you don't know that should be blackleg.) Laugh and the world laughs with you - cry and you cry alone.
Now THAT'S humour ratty!
But I'll not agree re. lighten up.....I'm usually lighter than tinkerbell but a line gets crossed at times and if you aren't prepared to state the case baby jesus cries.
There are many racist jokes that are just not funny, I thought that was just light and humorous.

Baby Jesus, cry, *Chortlesplutters*, he has no idea what is coming to him when he grows up, stay away from the top of the hill!!!!
Yay rats and as for Buddha, the fat B.....d
Starbuckone...fabulous.
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Wouldn't have posted this if I had known someone would be offended. I just thought it was funny, applied to dogs. I am definitely not racist. I can't afford to be - I live between a man from Jamaica and a man from the Congo - the people across the road are Polish and the people two doors down are Sikhs - there are also varying races living up the road. The man from Jamaica takes me to the doctors and the dentists and the Sikhs are great friends. I couldn't do without them. So I feel quite hurt and surprised at Mosaic's remarks.
I thought it was funny SBO, true too.

jem
Death to you!!!!!!!! :)

Buddha wasnt actually fat, the fat pictures depicting Buddha are usually just that of a fat monk.
I think these kind of "jokes" are generational. my neighbour (76) comes out with some shocking stuff but wouldn't say she was racist, and would probably say "I have *insert minority group here* neighbours".
I see nothing wrong in the joke, we are all mixed in colour. I'm classed as white but a quick check and I see my skin is a light pink with occasional blobs of red and brown.
No doubt somebody will be along shortly and say RATTER15s joke is promoting cruelty to animals.
I know you're not racist starbuck, as do most of the other posters on here, so don't fear about that. I think mosaic picked up on the inclusion of the words 'mixed colour' and depending on how you care to take it it could under the right circumstances imply that people of 'mixed colour' are lazy etc etc etc- I think that's all they were pointing out- we all know you're not a racist, so don't fret:)
My dog is so intellegent he can talk.
I said to him ''what's that on to of the house?'' ''rooff'' he replied.
Whats that around the tree ? ''Bark''
How do you feel? ''Rufff''
Anti English jokes aren't Racist according to one writer, so are only Colour of skin jokes racist ?
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog’s tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

jem

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