Medical Conditions...

[john1066]

Girl went to the doctor with a bad cough. Using his stethoscope he said, "Big breaths" She replied "Yeth and I'm only thixteen"

[andy-hughes]

That was brought to you, courtesy of the 'Give An Ancient Joke A Home Organisation' - thank you for smiling.

[Quizmonster]

The film 'Doctor in the House', starring Dirk Bogarde and released in 1954 was the first occasion on which I heard this one, if memory serves me aright!

[Zhukov]

I recommend that you have a lie-down in a dark room,john1066

[Philtaz]

Medical terminology for Chav's:

Artery = The study of painting

Bacteria = The back door of the cafeteria

Barium = What doctors do when the patients die

Caesarean Section = A neighborhood in Rome

Cat Scan = Looking for Socks

Cauterize = Made eye contact with her

Dilate = Live long

Hangnail = Coathook

Impotent = Distinguished and well known

Labour Pain = Getting hurt at work

Morbid = A higher offer

Nitrates = Cheaper than day rates

Node = Was aware of

Papsmear = A paternity test

Pelvis = A cousin to Elvis

Postoperative = Mail carrier

Recovery Room = A place to do upholstery

Seizure = A Roman emperor

Terminal Illness = Getting sick at the airport

Tumour = An additional pair

Urine = Opposite of you're out

Varicose = Nearby

Vein =Conceited