babies

[loopey]

i have 3 fantastic boys the eldest 11 and the youngest 10 mths i've been advised not to have any more by the doc and hubby says this is it, but i can't imagine not having another baby around, will this broody feeling ever go theres 9 yrs between my last 2 cos the broodiness never went.

[Brinjal]

Get a pet. I was the same wanted another baby and have 10 years between eldest and youngest and believe me even tho I have had immense pleasure from my kids you do get to a stage when you want to do things for your self. My youngest has just pased her drivers licence and what freedom I have. Another two years and she will be finished school and the financial freedom will set in. Yay.

[maggie01]

The trouble is you can't keep having children, so you have to find something else to fill the gap. I am not sure a pet is the answer as they are a bit of a tie, so I would not go into that lightly. Perhaps you need a hobby, something to get you away from the house. I'm sure once you find something that interests you then the broodiness will soon pass and then you can look forward to grandchildren in years to come.

[loopey]

tried the pet thing in between the last 2, 2 cats and a dog later i had my youngest, i went back to work, but as i work on a maternity ward that didnt help, my boys are so gorgeous i cant imagine anything being this fulfilling.

[mimififi]

I would love to have been able to go on and on having babies. I have 5 children, and I count the blessings each day.

My youngest is 10 months and was prem due to many complications. If I had listened to my bod and to my Doc, I probably wouldn't have had 4 and 5, but then again, I also nearly for number 5 with my life, and she nearly lost hers too. It could have been awful.

My hubby said that is most definately enough, (also, we do have 5 children, which is enough anyhow!), but he would not let me risk my life and that of a child again.

Since making the decision that this is enough, he had the snip and i do feel liberated. I feel a touch of "oh, how lovely" now all my friends are having their first and seconds, but that is about it. I have had a tough time this year, and wouldn't want to repeat it. My kids suffered too, and so now I am content to just watch them all grow.

I think the broodiness does become manageable, esp when you know you have made the choice to stop. Also, there are many things you can fill your life with, not just kids (and pets). Invest in the kids you have, and their will never forget your devotion.

(One day, you will be a granny, then the fun will really begin....You have all the benefits, and no sleepless nights. I'm looking forward to it already!)

[loopey]

i know what u mean i was advised not to have no.3 and he was also prem, but i then think if i had listened to the medical advice i would not have had my gorgeous baby. I had pre-eclampsia with all 3 of my children, i know its stupid to have anymore and it effects the others because i was in hospital for 6 weeks over christmas but i cant help how i feel.

[mimififi]

I think it is really hard, because when we stop child bearing, it is like the closing of a whole chapter or your life. I had my first when I was 18, so my whole adult life I have been making a family. Now I am no longer doing that, I feel like I have lost a tiny piece of my identity. I am needing to reevaluate who I am and what my role is.

Obviously, in the cold light of day, I know what my role is, but it is at those hormonal/emotional times when you feel like crying in an almost grief like way for the role you have lost. The feeling that, "oh, I never have to wonder again if I'm pregnant or not..." It sounds silly, but it is a hard thing to deal with.

For me, when I start to feel broody and get a little down, I just imagine what my children's lives would be like if I hadn't had the wonders of modern medecine last January, and the baby and I had died. That kinda wakes me up and makes me realise that having another baby would be both selfish and unwise. I wouldn't change having the last two for anything in the world, but I wouldnt risk it again.

It is natural to feel broody, we are meant to. IF women didn't get broody, the population would come to a grinding halt. It is however, difficult when you are naturally more maternal and motherly than some. It is those characteristics that make you the wonderful mother that you clearly are.

:-)

[mimififi]

It is doubly hard aswell when your peer group are all just starting out in their child bearing. I am only 29 and lots of my friends haven't even had their first child yet. It is weird, because I don't really fall into any peer group. I'm too young for the mothers of mainly teenage kids, or kids who are leaving home, but I have a different life style to friends my age who are childless, or just starting their first Lamarze class!

The rich tapestry of life I guess!

[smudge]

My dear Mum loved children so much that she & Dad went on to have 10 of us - 6 girls & 4 boys! The first was born in 1931 & the last in 1952. We all had a very happy childhood & were all loved & treated the same.

My husband & I have two daughters who we adore. When they were 6 & 9 years old, I went back to work & even though I had the odd broody moment, the thought of having another baby soon faded into the background. Years on, both daughters are married & we now have four grandchildren who we also treasure & adore.

So you see, in no time at all, you'll probably have an extended family with Grandchildren to enjoy!

Good luck.