You don't have a lot of responses here numnum - my son was in a different situation but this may be useful to you. We from time to time when my son was younger, looked up the checklists for autism and aspergers, our main concern was his lack of empathy for others and he had some difficulties interacting socially, he liked to line up his toys etc. We would always find that there were as many things that he wasn't on the list as things he was like. Anyhoo, he seemed to be coping fine so we did not take any action. However from age 7/8 for a year or two he was bullied at school and his behaviour became quite concerning, he wouldn't speak to people, he became very rigid in his routines and became upset if his personal space was invaded. As a result of this we eventually got a referral to the psychologist and had an initial appointment. By this point, his behaviour at home was a lot better but problems still persisted at school. After this meeting, they decided that if they formally tested him at best it would be a borderline result. We decided not to test him as the position was improving. We can go back if he has difficulties in the future.
The point of telling you this was more to say that we went through all the emotions while going through this but in the end realised that regardless of a diagnosis, he was still our son, still the boy he was and his future is still bright. You find that a lot of IT people and Actuaries and engineers are diagnosed or undiagnosed (mostly) aspies etc. so it is not all bad news!