I need your help I have a bad case of piles

[lankeela]

what do you suggest I should do?

[lankeela]

At least you didn't ask me how many letters!

[factor-fiction]

I was just about to ask that, lankeela

[albaqwerty]

Are they external or internal? There is a cream, whose name I cannot remember which has an applicator.

[TheOtherHalf]

piles of what, crossword puzzzles ?? he he. Stop wiping your @rse with them. loo paper is quite cheap these days

[sunny-dave]

Preparation H is very good I'm told - just don't leave the tube near your toothpaste - can result in a very wide grin.

PS - I believe it is also used as a cheap and cheerful temporary 'Essex Face Lift' - it tightens the skin and smooths wrinkles - but please get someone else to verify this before you risk it ...

[Mamyalynne]

A lie down in a dark room always helps me.

[sunny-dave]

I prefer the lights on ... ;)

[sandyRoe]

http://www.allcures.c...g-2717981-Leaflet.htm

[Mamyalynne]

You would Dave.

[Grandma_Yiddo]

When my oh was on exercise in Norway one of his oppos sat in a bucket of snow.

[sandyRoe]

frostbite or jimmy giles? You wouldn't know which was worse...

[lankeela]

Thanks for your concern, but this question was tongue in cheek aimed at those who put crossword questions in the wrong category!

[Canary42]

Take it back to where you got it from and ask them to replace it with a good case.