Crosswords5 mins ago
Michael staggered..
.'
Michael staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking mate, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Michael sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his bum cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Elastoplast and began putting a plaster as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Elastoplast box shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..
In the morning, Michael woke up with searing pain in both his head and his arse and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Michael said, 'Why do you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ........
it's all those Elastoplasts stuck on the hall mirror.
Michael staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking mate, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Michael sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his bum cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Elastoplast and began putting a plaster as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Elastoplast box shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..
In the morning, Michael woke up with searing pain in both his head and his arse and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Michael said, 'Why do you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ........
it's all those Elastoplasts stuck on the hall mirror.
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