q re silly office politics ...continued

[evedawn]

last week I posted a Q about moving desks in an open plan office, (did not like where I sat because of troublemakers...who incidentally were not gunning for me ..until today ) Last week I spoke to my manager without mentioning specific names or instances... and he happily agreed to my moving desks, ( he knew immediatley who seemed to be causing the problem without me saying so).

Anyway I anticipated a bit of a backlash but it is enough to knock me sideways! One person in particular is making it very uncomfortable .... bad enough for me but the entire office seems to be under the black mood now.
It has been a horrible day.

I do not like working like this ( but I love my job). So in summary I plan to do the following:

1 LEt it ride for a few days in the hope that it will die down (but this is unlikely)

2. Try ask this individual for a cup of coffee (what do you suggest ...wait a few days or nip it in the bid and ask her tomorrow?)to try smooth things over (which she will probably refuse...but I think it is worth a try)

3. If this fails I don't know what else to suggest?

I do not want to involve my manager as he has better things to do than sort out petty things like this but...I do wonder If I should email him tomorrow and say things are pretty bad, that I hope to sort it out myself, (not requiring his intervention) but...I do feel he should know.

It has honestly been a horribly horrible day...and other than moving desks I don't know what I have done to offend her (I did give a "plausible" reaosn for moving that did not involve mentioning her name or the cattiness she displays etc).

advice appreciated ....

[China Doll]

I'd agree with you on option one, often these things do die down after a while and I'd probably go for a couple of weeks rather than days (but that depends how much it's effecting you so subjective). If that fails then I wouldn't even bother with step two, I'd just tell the manager and have them deal it, I would think that you taking her for coffee to talk it over will just add fuel to the fire and if she's not reasonable now then it doesn't bode well for a chat. Ultimately managers are there to deal with staff no matter how petty they're being, it's part of their remit. Plus my own manager woud be pretty ticked if she thought I'd been suffering and hadn't told her and caused myself extra stress by trying to sort it out.

[jno]

managers are supposed to manage, so don't be afraid to involve him.

[evedawn]

Thanks china ... I coule probably see it through if it only affected me but the entire office is in a black funk...I am a believer in good communication and crave sorting this out (not that I've said a bad word against her...and her group of hangers on to anyone (even though I hve THOUGHT it often enough!!! LOL) It looks unprofessional and it's horrid. I know ti's part of a managers remit ...and he is very approachable ...t's just it would appear much more adult if I could either a) sort it myself or b) at least suggest a solaution to my manager...

[evedawn]

thanks jno...like I said manager is approachable but ... I feel silly to involve him in this ...

[China Doll]

In fairness eve, it's not you that's not being an adult about it, it's the other person and if they're that much of an arse or have the power to create that kind of atmosphere then as a manager I would want to know about it. But if you give it a go yourself then all power to you, just can't see it necessarily ending that well if she's that petty.

Our office has been in a funk for a while because of the admin review and it's caused some bad feeling...Most people are ok but there's a few getting on my tits and I am now on the policy of not talking to the irritating ones unless they talk to me first as am tired of getting my head bitten off for asking perfectly reasonable questions. If you can let it blow over your head at all then I would recommend trying that, people will adjust because most of us don't like working in an atmosphere and they do come round.

[evedawn]

thanks for advice china ... i'm gonna try let it go for a few days. It will be so hard though. I felt genuinly unhappy at work today and even thought of leaving...which now my sensible head is on I won't do of course. I love my job so why let her ruin it?

[China Doll]

Exactly... sometimes it pays to just laugh at people acting muppets and completely disregard them but it's not always easy to do. I hope it works out for you but if not, then I think I probably would just go to the manager and let them deal with it properly, she can't get away with bullying people (which is essentially what her and her group are doing).

[lady-janine]

i'd go with 1. and then just keep on smiling. it will drive her mad and it will stop you saying anything that could be misconstrued or misunderstood. it will also stop you from saying anything if you do get into a furious strop.

if you catch her looking atyou a big beaming smile.

[Maydup]

Yep option 1 for me too.

Don't fuel the fire; it might be roaring still, but it will die our eventually when it runs out of "stuff".

No more trying to make things work , no more wondering or worrying, just be the grown up and leave it be.

[Hopkirk]

Grow a thick skin.

Water off a duck's back and all that.

Don't let her see it is bothering you. That sort of bully loves that.

However, in case you need it, keep notes of things that may later become relevant.