Losing my confidence

[fruitsalad]

The older I get I seem to get more and more nervous especially when it comes to traveling by car by train or flying when I know I am going to visit my family who live 140 mile away for a couple of weeks before I go I start thinking about the journey and start to dread it I prefer to do the driving and usually go on own anyhow but I just cannot understand why I am beginning to lose my confidence when I was younger I wouldn't of given traveling anywhere a second thought is it something to do with getting older?

[coccinelle]

I seem to think that over the years we seem to lean on our partners more and so seem to wonder if we're still capable of doing things ourselves. Just by getting out there and doing it ourselves will help with this esteem. I've learnt this over the past few months after losing my husband.
It's nothing to do with getting older it's to do with having confidence in yourself and others around you.

[fruitsalad]

Coccinelle thanks for your reply I've always been confident in every other way and if anything my OH Has always leant on me rather than the other way it's only this traveling thing that bothers me I use to do driving for a living it's just the past 2 or 3 years that I have started to get nervous when I know I am going to be traveling any distance Im fine when I'm driving locally

[ummmm]

I think as you get older you pay more attention to all the bad news on TV. I think it messes with the subconscious.

[fruitsalad]

That does make sense ummmm I think that is my problem I take in all the bad news I read and hear about

[seadogg]

Its natural to lose a bit of confidence as you become and older. The only older driver I knew who thought he was still top of his game was lethal. Friends rarely went for a second ride with him. Yet you can still do it with care.

[seadogg]

spare "and" got in from somewhere lol.

[rozia]

I think it is, i used to drive everywhere 200/300 miles away from home, get lost and find my way back again, now if i get lost im scared and nervous, its awful. I know what you mean. Just be brave and think your 19 again..

[Meg]

I used to drive all over the country, I developed an aversion to motorways, hate getting on them. Now only use non motorway routes. May take longer to get there but I do get there!!

[islasmum]

I used to drive all over the country and not worry about it, but as I have got older I find it more stressful - I prefer to have company with me so I can chat as well as drive I do concentrate on my driving, it's just nice to know that there is someone else there; if my OH is with me he knows when I'm starting to stress, but just encourages me on - although he does laugh when I take an alternative route so I don't have to use the QE2 bridge - I loathe heights! (now that has definitely got worse with age!) So yes, I reckon that it does get worse with age.

[Seadragon]

I found the opposite that I gain in confidence as I progress in life. Sometimes when we feel nervous about something...it's up to you what you believe...but I believe that we 'sense' things. Sometimes its a warning other times it can be a sense of preparing us to what may happen...I don't know.

I think in your case, I would try and take a deep breadth, take some cd's, some m & m's, think about positive things and look ahead to the time you will spend with your family and then just get on your way.......I know it's easier said than done.

Good luck x

[LDC134]

I also believe it's a combination of getting a bit older and believing all the bad news everywhere - the media 'fear' factor is very strong in this country. When you are younger you just don't listen or believe it and as you get older you have more time to read / listen to the news and are more likely to be concerned about it all. I can really see this between my retired mum and I (still working full time) - she will remember every bad story in the paper, I rarely read a paper and only read the major stories online. Good luck with your journey - you will be absolutely fine !

[sheranudeep]

It happens in old age , when person pays too much attention to himself and also the doctors who keep telling you , what is harmful to you , you should not do this or that . Due to these surroundings , a man becomes to cautious of his environment and start thinking it as harmful to him
I would advice you to visit a therapist .He will definitely help you .

[matron 22]

How old are you Fruitsalad? I have the same symptoms and Dr told me it was due to menopause> Have done a lot of research on this and lots of us lose our confidence etc as we hit this stage

[fruitsalad]

I'm 54 matron still waiting for the menopause though no signs of it yet

[boxtops]

I think we become more conscious of what might happen - I drive far less than I used to. However, I now travel on public transport far more than I used to and that doesn't bother me.

[cazzz1975]

I also think as we get older we become more set in our ways so seeing someone driving differently or knowing we have no control of the situation can be disconcerting