Donor Cards For Kids

[Drusilla]

On walking my children to school this morning, my elder girl(9) asked if she could carry a donor card like mine. I bit my lip and pretended I was concentrating on my answer, but really I was holding back the tears. I accept that carrying such a card will not put some spooky hex on her life, but associating my girls' with death is going to prevent me thinking about this issue in a clear headed manner and I would appreciate some feedback from other mums.

[buttons]

you sound like you have a very level headed girl on your hands there Drusilla! It is a good thing that your daughter has a very grown up attitude to what is normally considered a grown up issue. Yes i agree it is a very hard thing to think about but why not discuss with your daughter about why you carry a donor card, and let her make her descision, if that descision turns out to be carrying a donor card then you should respect her wishes. I am a step-mother to a five year old so its not something ive ever really had to deal with. Drusilla you should be very proud of your daughter and her very kind loving nature.

[ursula62]

I'm not a parent, but I can understand your dilemma. Your child is showing incredible maturity by considering something like this, and you have to discuss this seriously with her. Of course tell her you hope it will never come to that, but try not to let it get too emotional, after all, it must be just as upsetting for her to consider that your donor card would ever be used.

If it's going to be any help the British Transplantation Society have this to say about minors and permission for removal of organs for transplant purposes: "Permission for organ donation under the age of majority should be governed by a judgement on capacity of the individual to make an informed choice. If the individual is judged to have had capacity to make an informed choice then their wishes should be respected as in adults."

Congratulations on bringing up such a mature child who thinks of others. We need more like her in this world!

[andy hughes]

We are not supposed to outlive our children, but if the worst happens, it is as well to be prepared for the question of organ donation.

Obviously your daughter has thought this through, and wishes to make her offer known - although the decision would be yours, her intention should help you through this distressing situation, should it ever arise.

[silly moo]

Years ago my (then) young daughters both decided that my husband and I would carry donor cards in their names , as well as carrying their own in their school bags.
I was just SO proud of them.
Still am of course, and not just for that.

[kick3m0n]

I'd have no hesitation in letting my son have one if he raised the subject, tho since he's only 2, I've got a wee while to prepare for it. I think donation of organs should be mandatory, with an active opt out being needed if you don't wish organs to be donated. If the worst should happen to my darling wee boy, I can think of no better legacy than for his organs to help other children. I would feel it was my duty to help other parents avoid the loss that I'd just suffered.

Your daughter sounds very mature and sensible and kind. I'll bet you're very proud of her.

[nfn]

my daughter died when she was a baby and although none of her organs were suitable for donation (she was 3 months prem) I offered the hospital the chance to perform any research they felt would be beneficial to help understand her condition. They took various samples and slides from her brain and other organs and then returned her to me for the funeral. I hope that some of what they learned may help save another baby's life in the future.

[mimififi]

I 'carry' a donor card in the name of my children, (it is not real one obviously, and I 'carry' it in my jewellery box. I know at the moment, not effected by the grief and despair that I would feel, should something terrible happen, I would want to know that I had already made the decision for their organs to be used.

In a parallel universe, I could have been the mother of the sick child in hospital waiting for a new heart. My eldest, who is 11 has already said she would like to be a donor.

It is slightly different, but my mother had triplets, my brother was a baby on his own, he had his own placenta etc, but the set of twins that she was carrying died of TTT. They also had hydrocephalus. Professor Nikoliedes was her gyn/obs at the time and when the twins were born, my parents were asked if they would allow an autopsy. They said they would. The research that Nickoliedes and his superior, prof Rodek did at the time helped them pioneer the shunt treatment for unborn babies that they use now, and also helped with the laser treatment they use for ttt now too. Obviously, they had data from other babies too, but this really helps my mum. The thought that the death of her babies wasn't all for nothing I think she finds a comfort.

giving someone else a chance of life I think would comfort me in my grief.

[nfn]

just a point mimififi, Kypros Nickolades was my obs/gynae man too. Small world!

[mimififi]

oh, hey, that's cool. He was mine aswell when I had my son. i had a positive Nuchal scan, and he did my Amnio. He is such a lovely man, typically he's met in such hard circumstances and he was exactly what I needed. It was nice too that he had seen my mum, then 15 years before. Very small world indeed.

[silly moo]

nfn - your post made me cry.

[nfn]

sorry silly moo, that honestly wasn't my intention. I just wanted to say that in my personal opinion the fact that my daughter's death wasn't completely in vain, and that she might have helped with research which may save another baby was, and still is, a great comfort to me, even nearly 6 years later.

[Hermia]

I got my donor card when I was 11 and my parents were fine (not surprising considering they carry them too). If I died I hope it would be a comfort knowing I may have saved someone's life.

[sophieb]

My daughter is ten and a half and has had a donor card for about a year. She had a friend at school who had a kidney transplant and we got into a big discussion about organ donation. She decided that she wanted to donate after her death after realising how important it was that someone donated to her friend.( child would not have lived without it