Loneliness; why do young people become socially isolated?

[Joanne130]

Social isolation has been in the news recently,

what are the reasons people cut themsleves off from friends & family at a young age?

[redman41]

Lack of Social Skills, prefer to stay indoors playing PC Games and watching TV instead of venturing out into the real World outside

[sandyRoe]

Mental illness, particularly depression, and low self-esteem must be contributing factors. There are probably many other reasons.

[ummmm]

Maybe their family are a bunch of bankers!!!

[cathfromsaron]

from upbringing, perceived dangers, teenage moods to mental illness ...

but i hope they get help and don't stay isolated!

[erin-x]

I think some people just choose to be that way. It may be due to depression. I know when I was feeling down, I just wanted to be by myself. I hardly spoke to anyone :|

[Joanne130]

redman that's what i always thought but i know of a girl who used to be very sociable she had lots of friends, worked in a people person job, went to uni etc but now she has cut herself off from all of her friends & has moved to a town where nobody knows her to get away from people, she has money so has no need to work, she is now a virtual hermit, can't understand it, why would she do this?

[EvianBaby]

From personal experience - a debiliting lack of self confidence.

[EvianBaby]

*Debilitating

[rowanwitch]

Undiagnosed autism in some cases
not allowed out to play with friends all activities too tightly supervised for H and S reasons so early interaction skills don't develop as well

body image issues where they have low estreem because they don't live up to media portayals of attractiveness

Less sport...and extra curricular activities where they could mix with others with similar interests

Addictive behaviour
Family breakdowns no other rels nearby to off load to so trouble remains in a tighter circle where it is more destructive

[Joanne130]

Yeh it must be mental illness or something

[redman41]

Many youngsters feel isolated when they fail to secure Employment when they leave school and are then left on the 'scrapheap'.
Finding suitable long term work these days is a lottery for many, even those with qualifications are struggling...

[joko]

agree with redman - but also fear pehaps?
they are bombarded with messages about being cool etc all the time - often the 'moral' of the story in films and TV, while purporting to be positive, often just singles out the people who are being 'themselves' or are bit different for ridicule - such as the nerds, the goths, the emos, and the gingers, the fat kids, the one wearig glasses etc etc - so if you are not a perfect jock or a sorority girl you are a loser
films such as shallow hal appear at first to be saying beauty is only skin deep and it doesnt matter what you look like as its whats inside that counts - great message - but it then just goes on to show this 'message' by showing that fat girls are comedic, miserable, and no guy will even look at them in the first place, unless he believes shes thin... very mixes messages there...

this creates feelings of inadequacy etc people simply feel safer in their own little world...

also many adults have no time for the anxieties kids face -
we see their dramas and problems as silly and stupid and ignore them - because in the 'real' world, they are unimportant - we know that - but they dont!
we know that in 10 years those things wont matter - but to them they are very real and the most important thing in the world!
they are very real feelings, and emotions, the angst and pain is real - but we cannot expect them to feel like adults, because they are not adults, and all they know is thier world - so they are patronised, belittled and ignored... told not to be so silly and grow up etc

plenty of posts on here of people laughing and sneering at their kids dramas, and acting like they are idiots...it is meant with love i know, but all the kids get from it is that you dont undertsand them and dont care...

and again this creates negative feelings and some retreat into their own world.


having said that some also just like their own company, they like to do other things on their own - there is nothing wrong with that... assuming they are happy with it.

[andy-hughes]

I think we as adult have short memories where the maelstrom of hormonal interaction is concerned.

Young people are bombarded with physical and emotional changes which seriously impact on their ability to interact with paqrents, teachers. family and each other.

Add to that the aforementioned pressure to fit in with peers and perceived socially acceptable sterotypes, and it's a recipe for isolation and insecurity.

Because a teenager's personality is under-formed internally, they tend to externalise their appearence in order to fit in with a peer group, which leads to some extremes of dress, hair style and behaviour.

Mood swings shift from extreme optimism and hyperactivity to self-loathing and slothfullness, it's no wonder young people feel that the whole world is looking at them, and not liking what it sees.

Parents of any young person need oceans of patience and tolerance, as well as firm boundaries of behaviour, whcih generate feelings of security - even if the backlash appears to indicate otherwise!

Fortunately, this time of life does not last for ever - it just feels like it at the time!

[Joanne130]

Andy & others thanks very much for your replies, when i say young people the person i'm talking about is in her late 20s!! as I said she used to be very sociable & is now a complete hermit!

[andy-hughes]

In that case, there may be other external forces at work - this is certainly not due to adolescence!

i would make some gentle enquiries about the lady's mental state, and see if you can get her to talk about anything that is making her isolate herself.

[emmie]

because there is so much internet access, where all you need is a mobile, laptop, computer and stay at home. It's not that difficult to see how easy it is, and youngsters aren't the only ones socially isolated.

[emmie]

young people aren't shut off from abuse though, being at home, not going on any number of cases that have been in the papers in recent years. Facebook, Twitter and so forth, where bullies get to them and post nasty comments, and worse. There was an article of one young girl who had her life ripped apart because some joker decided it would be funny to post a picture of her, which had someone's naked body but superimposed with her face, can see how that is sooo funny....

[dimamuzhetsky]

Too much sitting by the table is THE ROOT of all this,too much investment into brains with not enough health worry.Put your health up & brains down-all the solution