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Where the hell has my questions gone?

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Jonnopiper | 17:23 Tue 22nd May 2012 | ChatterBank
66 Answers
Hi there, Ive asked this serious question twice today but for some reason i cannot find it now??? Am i saying something that's against the rules???
Anyway here goes again.
This site was recommended to me by a friend who said that the animal experts here host a range of professionals from different fields so i'd like to run this by you if i can and please bare with me as this has happened and i need advice.

I work as a labourer and me and the lads went to the pub after work last friday, our colleague jim doesn't drink but always comes anyway so he's always is the designated driver. We had a good time and i got pretty sozzled but would like to stress i was in full control of my bodily functions and was far from legless.

The night ended at 10:30pm and jim began dropping us all off one by one, as i live near him i'm always last in the van.
We were driving home down a long country lane when i told jim that i needed to urinate so he pulled over and i went in the bushes whistling as i went, halfway through i heard a large grunt and snort which sounded like screaming which made me jump and i saw a black shadow coming towards me so i froze but it was only jim who had also heard the noise, we heard it again and it seemed to be coming from the road but when jim shined a torch onto the road and bushes on each side of the road nothing could be seen, we walked wearily to the middle of the road and we heard it again, i looked down and there was a sewer grate and the sound was coming from there, we got a large crowbar from the van and pried it open as we though there could be someone stuck in there, we shined the torch down there but could see nothing just water going pass, we shouting hello many times but again nothing, jim said his phone was in the van and he was going to phone the police , he told me to be careful as the sewer drop was 50ft or so, so i lay on my stomach and starting shouting "hello" again and this time i could hear a low pitched growl which got louder and bassier, i then saw what appeared to be a large white piece of wood and then realised that the torch was catching the reflection of two eyes and then it let out another growl and then swum past, i shouted for jim who came running up and i told it i saw what appeared to be a large 20 ft body and two eyes peering at me, he laughed it off as did the police when they came, the police said that the storm drains sometimes had large bits of wood that rubbed on the sides and made odd sounds and we were warned about lifting the grates off in future as we or others could be injured and that's it they went home and i went home and i forgot about it until i read this today.

http://www.nypost.com...eQXk9fnuE3vAbkAvxddJL

Is it possible that a large alligator or Crocodile could be living in the sewers?
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OK I can see that my expertise is needed as not a moment too soon.

What you saw is the much fabled but never seen drainage allicroc, bred as pets and set free when too big.

When I lived in England I often had to hunt these critters and now have several feet and heads hanging in my library! I ate the rest - a little sweet but given the correct marinade very nice.

Do not attempt to approach again unless you have an expert with you - I fear for your life!
I hope you told the papers, jonno, they'd have a field day with this one.
I think you are mis informed the beastie is a Chelmsford Caiman... they mostly inhabit the river Roding but some are now in the Crouch estuary. and there have been sightings on Rainham Marshes. A little smaller than the Salt water crocodle they escaped from Chelmsford Zoo in 1930 hence their name. Used to live in Essex. they were in the storm drains near Harold Wood rather than the sewers properly
It seems the OP is unable to discern the difference between humour and sarcasm.
why you're wasting your time here is beyond me when you're obviously a talented comedic genius. There must be a thousand stages that are missing you right now

He said that about me the other week but I can't remember what his name was then.....

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