A blonde woman decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the local park.
A few days later, a man walking his dog spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks her what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker.
"I tried that," replied the blonde woman, "but I couldn't breathe."
At the reception, he is confronted with a woman "formidable" as the French say, tweed suited, hair in a bun, tortoise shell specs, the very epitome of a Scottish senior librarian.