Next man-maiming opportunity

[gness]

British Gas man is coming to fix leaking water pipe in airing cupboard.

The chances of him leaving intact are......................???

[askyourgran]

Probably a mummy's boy gness, no good. Give it a week and loosen the pipe again, they might send somebody else.

[gness]

Thank you AYG.....a week? Yes I can do that. :-)

[albaqwerty]

we need to know the gritty details.
What colour are the handcuffs and have you got leg-irons?

[askyourgran]

Have you read all three of the 50 shades of Gray?

[gness]

Purple handcuffs.....furry. I`m not heartless. No leg-irons but hackled together bits from the kitchen....egg poacher etc.

I`m making notes for mine AYG.

[parkie]

Give him a couple of cans of gness and he might stay the course.

[gness]

Part with my cans Parkdale??????????? Not likely. If he can`t stay the course on half a shandy he`s out! x

[DTCwordfan]

He is still there, then.

I have this distinct impression of a benign Rose West forming......or Cynthia Payne.

[gness]

Come on DT! Cynthia had more about her than Rose.........I`ll go with her thank you. x

[DTCwordfan]

Or Miss Whiplash....

Has Tony emerged yet?

[gness]

Oh! Forgotten Tony was in the bathroom! Gas man in spare room! Better not bring a folk singer back from the club tonight.

[DTCwordfan]

Gness's view is southerly warm,
Sheltered from the winter wind.
Her neighbour faces north.
He and cold are kin.

She has daffodils
In earliest spring,
While his land lies
Under the snowy wing.

Her Guinness fruit trees bloom
In colours, pink and white,
While his stay hidden
And out of the spare-bedroom sight!

With July's last gasp
A frost hits all
He picks his raspberries
While Gness has Fall.

He has no ladder to pick his fruit
Gness uses Tony, now spare room locked away
He has no use of such steps, only uses his canes
Gness uses his cane too; a Cynthia Payne in formation? Nay.

[gness]

Wonderful DT! And a Guinness fruit tree to go with the luncheon vouchers. WOW!

Thank you. x