Son's / Daughters Caring for Parents.

[Lissienook]

I cared for my father from 2004 to 2011 when he passed away.
I was early retired and moved into his house as a joint owner.
Fortunately I knew my rights but my father got beyond the point where a single person could care for him and after a 3 month stay in hospital it was decided a nursing home was the only option.
When I saw the Social Worker he told me the house would have to be sold and as I had inherited half of the house from my mother that would have to be used to pay for my father's care.
I knew this was incorect and just said I would take legal action if my father did not get NHS funding.
Later that day I had a phone call to say his case had been reviewed by the Continuing Health Care Nurse and my father was entitled to NHS funding.
When I met the Social Worker later he said it did not look like an NHS funding case to him and I should not expect to get a free house.

What annoyed me was:

A) I had spent 8 years of my life caring for Dad.
B) The Social Worker was wrong saying the house would have to be sold as I was a joint owner.
C) I was 61 at the time so I could not be forced out for this reason.
D) I probably lost 7 years of my working life as a result.
I was on an early pension from my previous employers but I could have got another job had it not been for Dad's care requirements.

Where as I accept I did not really lose out financially as a result of inheriting the house I do resent the Social Worker saying I got the house free.
Sadly my father passed away after being in the nursing home only 2 months.

Lissie

[pizza]

At least he's home now Lissie with your Mum.

[Lissienook]

pizza

I hear what you are saying but I think Dad wanted to live for ever.
When he was in the home he was telling staff he was wanting to go and do the garden at home, he was going to extend the kitchen and he wanted a dog and was planning several holidays.
I got a dog and he is great company for me now.
He went to the home with me most days and is now greatly missed there so I still go back about once a month so people can see the dog again.
Oddly enough he is well liked by people who came in since Dad passed away so I may be visiting for the life of this dog and possibly the next.
He is a Cairn Terrior and is strong for his size.
He should be OK for the duration of his life but our last cairn lived for 16 years.
I will be 77 in 16 years time so I may have to look for a dog which is not as strong.

Lissie