Mick Talbot's Story

[mrs_overall]

From an early age the young Mick Talbot had a habit of developing obsessions which stayed with him for life. After receiving a postcard from a distant relative who had emigrated to the wilds of Canada, he became fixated with the idea of becoming a lumberjack when he grew up.
By the time he reached adulthood his obsessions were numerous. Every room in his house was piled high with his collections. These included a room devoted to high heeled shoes (his obsession was with red soled Loboutins but he made do with shoes from Primark and laboriously coloured in the soles with a felt tip pen), he owned every issue ever published of Bunty, and had a cupboard filled to capacity with toupees as he was particularly sensitive about his baldness. He completed an on-line correspondence course and qualified with the Balls Falls, Ontario, School of Lumberjacking and Owl Husbandry. He dressed the part, complete with checked shirts and a variety of ludicrous hats with ear flaps. Unfortunately, the village of Answerbank under the Wold was nestled snugly in a vale which was singularly devoid of trees. Mick set himself up in business but was reduced to trimming the bushes of several elderly ladies in the village. To supplement his income he took on the position of handyman at the Body & Soul Holistic Centre and Owl Sanctuary on the outskirts of the village. He hated the job with a passion. His duties included cleaning the colonic irrigation treatment room and being responsible for the owls who took every opportunity they could to swoop off with his toupees. His social life revolved around the village pub where he was proud to be the quizmaster. His fall from grace came when it dawned on the villagers that they had answered the same quiz questions for four weeks in a row and he was sacked. To add insult to injury, the village fete committee refused to let him run the coconut shie at the village fete when it was discovered that for years he has superglued the coconuts down, so the kiddies never stood a chance. When his role as quizmaster was taken over by a newcomer called Excelsior, he focused all his anger on the poor man, and in his mind he blamed him for everything that was wrong with his life. Sitting at home in the nude, fondling a favourite pair of stilletto shoes with one hand and a chain saw with the other, he plotted revenge. His normally moribund features lit up with a smile as he came up with a scheme to exact retribution from those that had wronged him.

[chi-chi66]

brilliant again mrs o...bet tonyav is happy someone else is now in the frame!!


and you DT brilliant peom.

[mike11111]

Sadly I have to report that your vision of Mick siting in the nude with his tool in his hand is no figment of your imagination. Alas, it is all too true, and who should know better than me!

[lady-janine]

mrs o that is wonderful. the visions of mick you conjour up are reducing to a wobbliing mass of mirth.

very good DT have come up trumps again.

mike11111 is there something you want to tell us?

[Dee Sa]

once again brilliant Mrs O and also DT's poem wish I was that clever but I am not.anyone remember "oh i'm a lumberjack and I dont care" think it was a Monty Python song ?

[murraymints]

brill as ever.. dee ...I sleep all night and I work all day..I cut down trees I wear check shirts and I go to the lavotreeee......