dig my mother and father's ashes up by law

[NORTHENANGELGIRL]

My Step-Mother and Father's ashes are beryed together in a church in Essex, sadly My famliy didn't tell me my father had passed away until after the funeral, when I got round to going to pay my respects to my father, I was told my the vicer of the church that I was not allowed to put flowers'are anything on my mother and fathers grave, and his grave ston MUST be the same as everyones grave stone, at the time I had my grown up kids with me, a row brock out between myself and my kids with the vicor of the church, Due to what the vicoer had seid that we are not ALLOWED to put anything on my mother and father grave, I and my kids wish to have my pereants and there grandpearents ashes dug up and re beryed in a church yord where we will be allowed to put flowers or what ever we wish to put on there grave,they where also beryed in a church yord by the home they where in we wish to rebery there ashes in the town they lived for most of there married life, what do we have to do to get permission to do this ? how do we go around doing this?

[HowardKennitby]

some info here

http://www.tameside.g...ereavement/exhumation

[bednobs]

i Honestly don't think you can legally do this. If you could, what would prevent your family(who didn't tell you he'd died) from having them dug up from where you want them and re-burried in the original spot, or even another place entirely and not telling you where?

[dotty.]

never heard of a graveyard where you cannot out flowers on a grave but if this is a cremation and the burial of the ashes is in a small area of the yeard, then maybe it makes it difficult to maintain the grass. the stone on a ashes burial is usually very small too and leaves little room to put a pot or vase on top. who arranged the burial anyway? it will have been another relative i expect, do you not know who that might be? who paid for the plot in the first place?

[boxtops]

I don't think you can just dig people up, willy nilly - it may have been your parents wishes that they are buried in that graveyard. It's not what you want that matters here, it's if they are where they want to be, together with their parents.

[Canary42]

im sure your pereants and grandpearants would rather be left to Rest in Peece than be cartered about willi-nilly. Why cant you hav a mimorial put up where you wish to pay your respects, surely it's not essential to have there remains beryed thier (cf War Mimorials). Ask your local vicer if this is possible.

[Maydup]

Best answer Canary42 :-)

[EDDIE51]

You can not just go and dig up a grave or even an ashes interment , it is a serious offence. Permission would only be given in very unusual circumstances.
This a family dispute and the church has nothing to do with it.
Someone in the family must have arranged the interment of the ashes and where it was.
There is obviously a family dispute here as you say ''My family didn't tell me my Father had passed away until after the funeral'' This family problem is what you need to sort out , you will not get permission to disturb the ashes . Just concentrate on resolving the family problem.
There was a very similar problem on here a week or so ago , where a daughter did not want her name used on her dads grave stone. The answer was the same. It is a family matter and nothing to do with the church which has just done what it had to do in suppling the grave plot at the request of the person who organised the funeral and paid for it.
It is quite normal that an ashes interment is marked only by a stone and that all these stones are identical apart from the name.