Dealing with coma?

[tvresearcher]

I would like to know, how does one deal with a member of their family or a dear friend of theirs in a coma?

Has one already said their goodbyes? How long is one allowed to be in a coma for, is it up to the doctors or family?

I'm aware its a sensitive matter, thanks for your time.

[Beanmistriss]

My Granny was in a coma for about 5 days before she died. She had had a stroke and we knew she was dying but they didn't know how long. We have a large and very close family and the hospital let people stay with her 24 hours a day. There were always people there to hold her hand and talk to her and we think she was able to hear what was going on. I was unable to be there (I live at the other end of the country) but they just talked to her and my granda told everyone stories about things they had done when they were younger and amusing things she had done so it wasn't all morbid either. In the end my mam and sister were with her when she died and I think everyone was comforted by the fact that she was never alone and that they all got to say goodbye to her.

I have heard stories of people who have been in comas for years and there are people who have woken up after 20 years. Also depends on what type of coma I suppose, some people are being supported to stay alive so I guess they could be "switched off" and others are just like they are sleeping but are sustaining life without support (apart from obviously being fed). Don't think they would be allowed to withold food and let the person starve to death, but i'm not sure. Not much help really, sorry.

[tvresearcher]

No thank you, its a lot of help.

[rabbitdrop]

Being in a coma is a question of degree rather than an 'all or nothing' situation. Someone may well 'wake up' from a coma but not recover full function of movements, thoughts or language. However some people do recover functions (partially or fully) over long periods of time. The longer the person is in a low consciousness state, the less likely they are to recover functions. How long a person is left in a coma would depend on the degree of depedence. For example are they breathing indepdendetly (or needing support from a ventilator)? Are they tube fed? It is up to doctors to make decisions based on what they belive to be in the person's best interests. However principles of good practice would compel the doctor to do so in consultation with the patient's relatives. In some situations a court judgement would also be required for treatment to be discontinued. As far as saying goodbyes goes, no-one knows for certain what the person's degree of awareness is. Personally I dont think it could be possible that a person may be hearing you and understanding you even though they are not reacting, so I would not say anything in front of them that I wouldn't want them to hear. If you want to know more about a specific situation you should ask to talk to the one of the doctors looking after the person and they will be able to answer all of the questions you have raised above. I hope that is helpful. Yes, it is a sensitive matter and therefore I am sure that the staff wherever this person is will be used to handling difficult situations and will deal with it appropriately.

[rabbitdrop]

sorry - just read what I've written and seen a mistake in it - I meant to say that I do think it is possible that an unresponsive person is understanding, so therefore would be very careful about what was said to them. If you haven't said your goodbyes, I would do so, as they may be understanding you.

[tvresearcher]

Thanks one again - my next step is o talk to a doctor, or indeed to a member of family that has a dear one in a coma. I guess its not easy for them, and not financialy either.

[sandbach99]

My Mum was in a coma for a week before she died, the medical staff could give no reason it was just as if she lay down for a sleep and never woke up. As an only child I could not be there 24 hours a day as no-one could give a timescale. I was called in twice only for her still to be there 24 hours latter.

I found the whole situation very distressing and wish that the Doctors had been able to give her a lethal injection once they knew she would not recover. Mum was 83, had been ill for many years and even had she recovered she would not have been able to return home.

I mentioned to a nurse something about the car park charges one day and she gave me a form to take to another hospital office which gave me a free car parking pass due to visiting a seriously ill patient. You have to ask and this may not apply to all hospitals.

[tvresearcher]

Does anyone know if a coma patient can be cared for in a nursing home?

[sandbach99]

I think some nursing homes can take coma patients but the amount of equipment needed and the reasons for the coma would have to be considered and for that you would need medical advice.

Nursing homes are very expensive and you would need to find out what funding was available it is unlikely that all the fees would be met.

[ermadea]

Usually a person in a coma is measured on the "Glasgow Coma Scale" 15 being wide awake, and 3 close to death, My mother suffered a massive brain haemmorage, and was in a coma for 34 days, all our family took turns to go in each day and night to be with mum, just talking to her and holding her hand, it didn't matter if she could hear us or not, it is a harrowing experience, though it was said she would never wake up, it was a worry as she was brain damaged, and would in effect have no quality of life if she survived, there is no set time to be in a coma, but after a while, medication and food was withdrawn, then eventually all fluids, it broke my heart to see her wasting away, I loved her so, and I said goodbye every day I saw her, and although the doctors said she wasn't suffering, I worried she was, I never got over losing her that way, as she was cherished and adored, for she was the biggest and most important influence in my life, and I miss her every single day, I don't know your circumstances, but I feel for you and hope you manage to endure the terrible strain and loss that may come your way, and hope your relative passes away in peace, and you and they have some kind of closure, talking about this has awful memories, but I felt compelled to write to show you some support, even though I am crying so hard at the memory of my mum's death, so good luck my friend, and God bless you and yours

[FlowerPetal]

My hubby was in a 'Selective Coma' for 11 days following a horrific accident.
Luckily for us, as soon as the hospital began reducing his ventilator and medication, he started breathing for himself.
He was VERY dazed and disorientated for approx. 6months after, but has begun to make the recovery that was expected of him.

Hope that was a ikkle help.....not want you wanted to hear i suppose.

My Nan was in a come before she died - only for a couple of days, but we all said our goodbyes - which was harrowing, but essential for us. She gripped each of our finger when we held her hand, so she knew what was happening but was just unable to respond in any other way.

Flower xx

[tvresearcher]

thanks guys xx

[wifey1213]

My bestfriend is in a coma right now because he did not know he was a diabetic and he has been in the coma for 4 days now and I do not know how to handle it because i am not allowed to go see him only immiediate family We are not sure if he is going to make it or not. Someone please give me some advice in what to do or how to deal with it