"Right, tonight, we are going to have our one Home Learning Session of the week. I know that you are all sixteen but I have to give your some parental leadership and navigation as it is now called, not just bloody well tell you to do your homework.
Oh I guess, you will report me to the EverythingisEqualandPoliticallyCorrect team for being naughty. Joanie and Davie, as close and special friends of Martin and Moira, in this house you will find we have some uncensored fun around the dining table, when it comes to the Learning Centre terminology and we regularly take the piss out of your Educational Catalytic Manager.
Anyway, I want to see you Martin and Joanie go up to Martin's room and Moira and Davie to Moira's room to start your Intimate Practical to learn about vaginas and penises and what they do. And no, we can't call it Biology or Sex Lessons now, it's called the "Big Bang"
Get to it now, chop chop."