If you are sqeamish, stop reading now ....

[andy-hughes]

Ok, now that we of strnger constituances are all together -

i think it is impossible to defacate and vomit at the same time - does anyone know if i am correct?

i do think I came as close to the world record last night though - barely had the universe finished its fearsomly rapid exit through my anus than I was obliged to nimbly step up, about face, kneel down, and void my stomach through my mouth, making noises suggesting that a lion was having its appendix removed with a blunt spoon and no sedation. Of course, I was assisted in this task by my inability to get a free hand to the toilet flush, thus ensuring that I was in closer proximity than desireable to my recent evacuations.

Having lain on the tpilet floor shaking and moaning for ten minutes, waiting to die with blessed eagerness, it suddenly occured that I was actually not going to die just yet, my stomach was ready for round two - I got no say in the matter!

So, I guess this is a s tomach bug - it appears to have passed through now, laying waste (a-ha-ha!) to everything in its path.

So, is it possible to evacuate both ends at the same time? Please tell me no, I can;t cope!!!!

[jno]

and this was checked out by whom, plautus?

[jd_1984]

^^^ Or Paula Radcliffe

[aelmpvw]

and i've usually backed it plautus

[dustypuss]

Is this you Andy

[Eve]

Oh yes, a year ago tonight randomly enough thanks to acute cholecystitis, not something I would ever wish to repeat (the both ends thing as thankfully.now gallbladderless :)).

[tiggerblue10]

Having had either the winter vomiting bug or food poisoning earlier on this year, I can also confirm that it definitely is possible. Never want to go through that again!

[andy-hughes]

Thanks guys for your confirmations - although I am not pleased to have my worst fears realised!

Thanks also for your kind wishes - last night, in bed at five, slept through, feel fine, and starving, this morning.

[mazie]

Excellent news andy. don't overdo the eating yet though

[Mammar]

Oh, thank you all, SO much, for this thread.
I woke up feeling rather miserable, for no particular reason, but within seconds of clicking on this thread I was helplessly laughing out loud.
So sorry you've been poorly, Andy, but this is a gem.
I do hope the Ab Editor gives you some sort of badge for it.

[cazzz1975]

sounds like you had the norovirus! I am very familiar with it, I have avoided it thus far in 2012 thankfully..

[cazzz1975]

it takes a good few days to build up your strength again, take things easy x

[creamegg]

If I am ever sick, I always get the runs too...I have lots of memories of sitting on the throne with a basin in front of me!

[flump1]

Poor Andy . hope you recover quickly. x