Editor's Blog3 mins ago
Absent father now demanding contact.
Where do you stand, in law, if a father of a child leaves the mother as soon as she becomes pregnant. and now shows up demanding access and input to the childs welfare/upbringing. Bloke is mentally bullying. Mother feels intimidated and knows that the father would be a damaging influence in the childs life.
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find yourself a solicitor, find a good one and go and see them.
You can refuse to let the father see the baby, i.e, don't answer the door/phone etc. If they become physically or emotionally threatening in anyway, call the police, and DON't do the whole, "oh, its ok really" when the police turn up, if he's threatening, he's threatening.
If the father wants to see the baby and you refuse, the only way he can make you is to apply for a contact order through the courts, hence this is where your solicitor comes in. you can put forward in court that it is not appropriate, there has been NO contact to date, no financial support etc and that you find him to be threatening, give the police accounts etc of what has happened. The court will then get a court someone (i forget who) to investigate the matter and prepare a report on the case where the magistrate will rule. Sometimes this results in contact allowed, but under thrid party chaperone in a neutral place, not your home and where the father is not allowed to have access to the child on his own. Like mediation kinda thing.
Point out to the father that if he wants contact then the CSA have to know about it, see how that sits with him.
Bottom line, once again, you don't have to let him see you or the baby, but if he applies to court for access (presumably he doesn't have parental responsibility, you aren't married?), you would be far better to go with a solicitor, and a good one. most people try to rep themselves, it looks better and is less stressful with council.
Good luck.
tigerthecat, dont mean to undermine your reply but the law has changed with regards to unmarried fathers,
"An unmarried father who jointly signs the birth register with the mother from 1st December 2003 now has Parental Responsibility. This does not apply to children born before the legislation was passed."
Scooby, i would do as others have advised and contact a solicitor a.s.a.p or maybe the citizena advice bureau can tell your rights, good luck xxx
sorry should have said i found that here http://www.fnf.org.uk/unwed.htm. I was aware that the law had changed but i wasnt aware of the date it changed.
Womens Aid can give advice but please speak to a local worker. Ask the main switchboard for a local refuge, they shoulsd have an outreach worker you can speak to..
Don't go and see a Solicitor right away unless you have lots of money.Its better to find a good solicitor otherwise you will regret it.
Please call your local Cascaf, your local magistrates court will know the phone number.
Tthey are the people the judge asks to assess the childs perspective they can advise you better tah some solicitors as they write the reports for the judges on a daily basis and have the dhilds welfare at heart..
The father may well have access rights but there is no excuse to bully. However if he has been told to go away he is probably stressed and angry and frustrated. That is no excuse and he must be made aware of this.
I have been told that some women who fear violence have a can of Mr Muscle or spray cleaner by the door. If you think someone is going to attack you and you reach for the nearest thing which happens to be the spray and it teporarity imobilises him till the police arrive, then it can be classed as self defence but I couldnt possibly condone such action myself. Be careful
Good luck
Don't go and see a Solicitor right away unless you have lots of money.Its better to find a good solicitor otherwise you will regret it.
Please call your local Cascaf, your local magistrates court will know the phone number.
Tthey are the people the judge asks to assess the childs perspective they can advise you better tah some solicitors as they write the reports for the judges on a daily basis and have the dhilds welfare at heart..
The father may well have access rights but there is no excuse to bully. However if he has been told to go away he is probably stressed and angry and frustrated. That is no excuse and he must be made aware of this.
I have been told that some women who fear violence have a can of Mr Muscle or spray cleaner by the door. If you think someone is going to attack you and you reach for the nearest thing which happens to be the spray and it teporarity imobilises him till the police arrive, then it can be classed as self defence but I couldnt possibly condone such action myself. Be careful
Good luck
good answer mango pete, though if you need council and can't afford it, you might be eligible for Legal aid. I was, but that was 10 years ago, I don't know if it has changed.
Mr muscle is a good idea, how could they prove you didn't answer the door while half way through cleaning the oven...?
(though, I didn't say that of course.) If you have a cordless phone, you could always make sure you answer the door with it in your hand, thumb on the nine button. Also, fit a stranger chain to the door and keep it on when you are in the house, in case one of the kids opens the door before you get there, also, fit a spy hole so you can see who is there before you answer it. Both the chain and the spy are available at B&Q or some other hardware store.
There are people who work on behalf of the court and compile personal reports on teh child just as pete said, but I think you'll find, they are only told to do this by the magistrate After an order has been applied for and you have gone to the initial hearing and obviously said you don't want him to have contact. You would still need representation for this initial hearing. The refuge or women's aid etc, should be able to recommend a solicitor who specialises in family law and who works with legal aid.
Hope all is well. Thinking of you
Mr muscle is a good idea, how could they prove you didn't answer the door while half way through cleaning the oven...?
(though, I didn't say that of course.) If you have a cordless phone, you could always make sure you answer the door with it in your hand, thumb on the nine button. Also, fit a stranger chain to the door and keep it on when you are in the house, in case one of the kids opens the door before you get there, also, fit a spy hole so you can see who is there before you answer it. Both the chain and the spy are available at B&Q or some other hardware store.
There are people who work on behalf of the court and compile personal reports on teh child just as pete said, but I think you'll find, they are only told to do this by the magistrate After an order has been applied for and you have gone to the initial hearing and obviously said you don't want him to have contact. You would still need representation for this initial hearing. The refuge or women's aid etc, should be able to recommend a solicitor who specialises in family law and who works with legal aid.
Hope all is well. Thinking of you
If he chose to leave when she fell pregnant, he made his decision to have nothing to do with the child. If he is not on the birth certificate she has nothing to worry about as he has no rights and if he is on the birth certificate then he still has no rights( only acknowledgement of fatherhood) unless she has given them to him and this is done by him paying �20 to the court. If this has not been done she should be fine. Hope that helps
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