Crosswords5 mins ago
Guilt trips
Hi all, I feel I do all I can, but always seem to end up doing something wrong. And mega guilt trip kicks in. Why? And how do we get over these?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.'Always'? Plenty of things don't go to plan, of course, many of them for the reason David gives, but plenty of others work out fine. Are you sure you aren't obsessing over your failures and forgetting your successes?
Having things work out wrong is still pretty normal, though, and I don't think you need feel guilt about it. Guilt is usually what we feel when someone else has been wronged and we feel we're to blame - is someone else involved here? Someone who's criticising you and blaming you?
If not, and it's just you, then I'd do as David suggests: figure out exactly what went wrong, learn from it. That's how we all make our way through life, and I seriously doubt you're any worse, or any guiltier, than anyone else!
You have to defeat the 'internal critic' in your head who is always telling you bad things about yourself.
'You're not good enough!'
'Well, that was rubbish, wasn't it?'
The annoying thing about this 'critic' is you know it's wrong, but it has welded itself into your psyche and is often stronger than your positive side. Think of the angel and the devil sitting on the cat's shoulders in the 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons.
I hope you don't mind me recommending a book that I'm forever reading because I suffer just the same problem.
'Self Esteem' by M.Mckay & P. Fanning
It's from New Harbinger Publications Inc and is American, so you'll probably have to order it.
Good luck and best wishes.