So True, Well Mostly

[emmie]

Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!

[DTCwordfan]

she's nicked me; em has nicked me!!!!

I am coming or going?

[emmie]

eeh lad, what up then x

[emmie]

have you all retired for the night... x x

[gness]

No Em.....I'm making very, very wide curtains before getting the tin bath out and soaking while listening to Jimmy Clitheroe.

[Psybbo]

Is it morning yet?

[DTCwordfan]

I'm oot to l'cal t'night for a couple of jars.

[seadogg]

Alas 6 is wrong em. Just cracked a rib, done exactly the same way a couple of years ago.

[mrs_overall]

My house in in darkness because I can't find a shilling for the meter

[shoota]

Eh? Pardon? Speak up.....

[emmie]

looks like some of us suffer from the above, i learned the hard way not to open the cupboard door and forget it's open whilst bending to pick something off the floor, whack, bruise and bump the size of an egg on forehead.