Poor Sentence?

[ilovemarkb]

The type of assessment done on patient B was a mini assessment which mainly focuses’s on a quick visual and physical assessment that considers patients airway, breathing and circulation.


does the above make sense and please be gentle with me!

[sandyRoe]

A mini assessment was done on Patient B which focuses on the airways, breathing, and circulation.

[grasscarp]

The type of assessment done on patient B was a mini one, which mainly focuses on a quick visual and physical assessment of the patient's airway, breathing and circulation.
Not sure how much we are allowed to change your sentence.

[factor-fiction]

focuses needs no apostophe
patients needs an apostrophe.
You could probably simplify it to reduce the number of times you say 'assessment'
Good luck. I know it's an academic assignment so the grammar needs to be good.

[ilovemarkb]

Thanks guys you're very helpful x

[bookbinder]

It does indeed make sense, but the grammar could do with tidying up, like this:
The type of assessment that was carried out on patient B was a mini assessment, which is mainly a quick visual and physical assessment, and considers the patient's airways, breathing, and circulation.

[grasscarp]

no comma required after breathing bookbinder.

[bookbinder]

Matter of opinion, grasscarp.

[237SJ]

The type of assessment performed on patient B was a mini assessment which mainly focuses on a visual and physical appraisal of their airway, breathing and circulation.

[ilovemarkb]

thanks again guys!! x

[rojash]

"no comma required after breathing bookbinder."

It's optional. It's known as the Oxford comma.

[grasscarp]

There you go rojash. You taught me something I never knew. I must apologise for my lack of knowledge and my criticism of bookbinder's sentence. I am right now hanging my head in shame!

[Quizmonkey]

The Oxford comma is NOT 'optional'. There is a different grammatical convention in British English and UK English. In the latter, the Oxford comma is only used to increase comprehension, eg. when list items are long and complex, or when list items include 'and' within themselves.