The Man And His Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with an Ostrich close behind him. The waitress asks them for their Orders. The man said 'I'll have a hamburger, fries and coke please' then he turns to the Ostrich and asks 'What are you having'. The Ostrich says 'I'll have the same'. A short time later the waitress returns with their order, 'That will be £9.45 please, the man reaches into his pocket and brings out exactly £9.45 in payment. The next day the man walks into the restaurant again with the Ostrich, and has the same order and so does the Ostrich, again reaching into his pocket and gives the waitress exactly the right money. This becomes routine for several weeks until the two go into the restaurant and the waitress says 'The usual?' 'No' said the man 'it's Friday I think I'll have a steak with baked potato and salad. 'Same for me' said the ostrich.
The waitress brings their meals 'That will be £35.62 please.' The man goes into his pocket and brings out the exact money £35.62 and puts it on the table. The waitress couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me sir but how do you always manage to come up with the correct money every time?'
'Well' said the man 'Several years ago I was clearing out the attic and I found an old lamp, when I rubbed it a Genie appeared and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that I would never have to pay for anything I could just put my hand in my pocket with the exact amount every time'. 'That's brilliant' said the waitress 'you could have asked for a million dollars but this way you will always be rich for as long as you live'. 'That's right' said the man 'whether it's a Rolls Royce or a pint of milk, the money is always there'. 'So what's with the Ostrich?' the waitress asked.
The man paused and sighed, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass who agrees with everything I say'.