Wordplay

[marval]

Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day.
I nearly choked on my latte.


Do you know what really makes me smile?
Facial muscles.


I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes.
We haven't done a gig yet.


My dad never loved me as a child.
I can't blame him really.
I wasn't born until he was an adult.


I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet.
So far I've got twelve fridges.


I put a couple of 't's in my beer last night.
I think it made it better.


At school we discussed the great rulers.
I opted for the Helix 30cm shatterproof.


I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.


Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar.
I hate Bounty Hunters.


I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard asked, "What have you got there?"
I replied, "Hummus."

[excelsior-1]

all gems, marval

[Mick-Talbot]

My compulsion with silky materials is ruining my social life .........satin all last week.

[starone]

Tee-hee.

[Flyhalf]

Stopped me looking dowm!