A Workmate Has Died

[pastafreak]

...voluntarily

How do you cope with that...?

[Psybbo]

I experienced it once and with great difficulty. Condolences, pasta

[daffy654]

Do you mean suicide or voluntary euthanasia?
I think if the first it can be very difficult as you will always wonder why.
If the second it may be because they were in incredible pain or had zero quality of life, in which case you know that their suffering is over.

[pastafreak]

Suicide,daffy.....I have trouble even spelling it out.

[kitty123]

It's awful isn't it what these poor people are going through to think that to end their life is the only way to end their misery.

[flump1]

Pasta, it is very difficult to understand the death by suicide, many emotions surface, disbelief, guilt, impotence,anger, and lots more. The person who died has what they wanted....relief from the absolute terror of their life they could not cope with. Mental illness is non-discriminant and can affect any soul, even those who we think have everything and should therefore be happy. I have been suicidal once....I could not kill myself as I thought of my family and for a long time afterwards,I was only alive for their benefit , not my own. I am on a much more even keel now. There is nothing that could have been said or done if your colleague was so low. Keep a memory of happier times, and take care of you x

[emmie]

difficult one, not well, but think how the persons family will feel, it will be ten times worse for them. One of my good friends did the same, and it hit everyone so hard, such a lovely bloke.

[pennyb04]

try and remember the good things pastafreak, and that wherever that person is now, they are likely to be happier (depending on your beliefs as to what happens when we die).

[humbersloop]

sorry to hear that ((pasta))

there's some practical resources here

http://www.rethink.org/living_with_mental_illness/coping_in_a_crisis/suicide_self_harm/suicide/support_for_people_b.html

[Ann]

I know just how you feel pasta, it happened to me. We worked within a close team in a small office and my colleague was always the happy soul amongst us, keeping us all smiling. Imagine our absolute horror to hear she had committed suicide on her day off, her family life was fine and we had no inkling. We just could not come to terms with it or understand it. Still can't to this day, nearly 12 years later. We just try to remember all the happiness she brought us and the laughter. Thinking of you x

[lady-janine]

pasta - have just picked this up. so sorry and can empathise more than i ever talk about or want to talk about. please just believe me when i say eventually the pain and the guilty worrying about it lessens.

(((xxx)))

praying for you.

[pastafreak]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I think all of those of us who worked with him will gain strength,and support from each other.
What's difficult to understand is that his job was to offer mental health advice to others-yet he may have been unable to seek that help himself.
It's very painful to know that someone was in such a dark place-and could not find a way out.

[lady-janine]

very sad pasta. he must have been so unhappy, especially as he felt and thought he could not share with anyone.

[bunkmoreland]

I've been in the situation twice where i lost a work mate to a heart attack and a murder,but,a suicide is a whole different thing,cos you dont actually have the reason why your friend has died. You are in such a state of shock and hurt and there may never be any answers. A girl i worked with,had her long time friend jump to his death from the building opposite our's,and because we worked in "official" offices,she tried to get inside info from his suicide note,beccause she was so desperate for answers. I shared a house with a girl whose brother commited suicide and i worked with another woman whose son did also. The one thing they all had in common,was that nobody ever saw it coming unfortunately :-( On This Morning on friday they had Gary Speed's mother (he was the Welsh footballer/manager who hung hmself last year) and she said they still have no answers,because there were never any signs and nothing has turned up. So very heartbreaking for those left behind no matter which the relationship is. Sorry Pasta.

[ummmm]

It's difficult to deal with because you're left with lots of 'what ifs'.

I don't think words are that much of a comfort, time will be your healer. My sincere condolences xx

[pastafreak]

Yes-there are loads of 'what ifs'...but worse are the 'whys?...

He was a devout Christian-as are most of my co-workers (I'm the resident heathen)...I wonder if he got any comfort from his faith at the end...I hope he did.

Thanks again,every one. x