Social services - not helping - can anyone help - desperate

[tamslibs]

This is a long winded tale, but need help.

My daughter used to self harm. Not done it for 18 months. She met new boyfriend he is 18, she is 15. She strated coming home real late 2-3 in morning and refuses to do what she is told.

One night the police bought her home 3am in morning. They drove past the pair arguing, he was telling her he was going to jump off train bridge when train came, she was trying to stop him. he was admitted to the local mental hospital over night to calm down.

My daughter still kept not coming home and coming in the am. I started phoning the police reprting her missing. Social services was then contacted. They agreed that this is what i must do. She then tried to cut her wrists in front of me. After questioning her she - told me that the boyfriend had tried to cut him self and she wanted me to understand how she felt.

I was at this point destraught. Social services and I decided she needs to get away from the boy and it was arranged that she spend some time at her aunt and uncles about 50-60 miles away.

The problem was that they was on holiday. So we decided she go down to her dads for 2 weeks till they came back. She did not like the idea, but due to her nan not being well agreed.

The night she was picked up she disclosed to me that her father had sexually abused her throughout her child hood.

I will admit I sorta had a hunch and had always askked her how does dad cuddle her etc.. and as she got older asked her outright. she always denied it.

Continued on anothwer post as it is too long

[bandy]

Cannot find your other post that continues but......

From the info above it sounds like a listening ear from you may help your daughter at this stage. If she has been abused by her father then there is a lot of work to be done with her and time made up for time lost.

Can you reassure her that you are all ears and want to try and understand her feelings. (it will be difficult for you when you see her heading for danger not to get into a panic) It sounds like she needs to be away from this botfriend but this isn't something that you should suggest right now as it seems she feels you don't understand her (by cutting herself in front of you trying to make you understand).

Have you had professional help at any stage? she needs to have some kind of counselling for what she has disclosed to you and she needs to feel as though she is taken seriously.

If what she says is true (and you suspected it in the past) then she had to deal with things that only adults do ,at a young age. She must now feel that you cannot treat her like a child (although she still is one) as she skipped that phase through no choice of her own. Go and seek some professional advice on this and include her in the process. Where is her father now? Maybe she needs to confront him with you about this.

[peeriesooky]

i know this was posted a while a go but hopefully you will still read this. I am the victim of child abuse or should i say survivor. My grandfather sexually abused me and my mother knew about it as she was abused when she was growing up.. I self harmed and tried to kill myself too. The only thing you can do for your daughter is keep telling her you love her and make sure you are there for her no matter what. She will really feel terrible but stick with it. It will be hard for yu both but there is light at the end of the tunnel. take care and if you can please post how you get on or alternativly if you leave a message i will give you my email address so you have someone that you may wish to email. I hope this helps in someway as i totally understand how she must be feeling. take care