I agree...said boyfriend is a numpty.
Afternoon Tea is the way forward. Dainty little sandwiches...might be cucumber, might be ham.....one of those 2-3 tier cakes stands with iced daintys...perhaps a chocolate eclair...all washed down with tea in proper cups with saucers ( Royal Albert preferably) out of a Tea Pot, NOT RUDDY TEABAGS THAT DRIP ALL OVER THE BLOODY PLACE EVERY TIME YOU TAKE THE THINGS OUT OF THE CUP !
Doilies may also play a part in the ritual...not essential but a nice finishing touch. Alas waitresses with little aprons on are getting rare nowadays....Bring back Lyons Corner Houses !
Sorry...got a bit carried away there !
This meal should under no circumstances be eaten in the same place they serve burgers. A Proper Tea Shop is what is required. They are still out there you know...you just have to look for them ( Easy to find in the Cotswolds of course, but you might not live near enough I suppose. Yorkshire Dales perhaps ? )