My qualifications are not in literature but I have read widely, without becoming an expert!! Excellent choice and use of imagery.
I felt your last stanza was descriptive, scene-setting, developmental, and more like the three earlier ones. A further stanza with some sort of rounding-off or summarising or personal impact or generalisation might well draw it all together.
Congratulations on presenting it for comment. None of my remarks is intended to be patronising