It Has Taken Me Over 27Yrs To Say This.......

[fredkins]

In fact I do not remember If I have spoken of this before I really do not think I have,It Is very close to my heart,and I think I need to get It off my chest and see how you all feel and can give me an honest opinion,or advice,or just some very heart-warming thoughts.My father was the most respected person ever In the community but behind closed doors he was the most horrid father ever.He would beat me with his BELT and when I did not cry he would continue,Myself and my siblings were subjected to the most worst beatings ever.This went on for many years,but when they say there Is no love stronger than that of the child and their parent, that is true. When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer I was the one that stepped In and looked after him until he died.But I have suffered personally for years and needed to cry out for help.So many unanswered questions.Why after so long is this affecting me still? Please any advice Is welcome.

[888sally888]

What a bully. And how much of a better person you are for nursing him. So many would have turned their backs but not you.

You can spend your life with a clear conscience which is a massive thing to be proud of x

[fredkins]

Thankyou for your kind words sally.x

[888sally888]

PS Fredkins, don't our dog pictures look cute :)

[fredkins]

Yes they do.How old Is your little cutey? Mine Is 14yrs 3months.

[888sally888]

Wow - thats a great age - Pickles is 6 and a half - she's a Bedlington Terrier and totally gorgeous!!

I always find spending time with her is a great tonic when a problem arises x

[fredkins]

I was going to ask If she was a Bedlington,I have my dog book out,but could not quite make her out by the picture,my eyes are not too good even with glasses on.She Is gorgeous and I bet a bundle of fun.I have only had Border Terriers, 2 In fact,Becky was 14 and a half when she died then there was this little one, Tilly,so not bad going 2 dogs In 29 yrs coming up.

[888sally888]

Most people think she is a poodle! We don't groom her like most Bedlingtons cos they look skinny and a bit odd - she just has rough fur which looks nicer. About to take her for a v cold walk.

You must give your dogs an amazing life if they get to such a ripe old age - a house without a dog just doesn't feel like home to me. x

[Smowball]

Hear hear DCT.

[fredkins]

You are right there sally,after Becky I did not want another dog but the house was not the same especially for my son who was only 5 at the time,good old hubby,he came good when he brought this little one home.

[murraymints]

Fred...just caught up here...you really must speak to someone in a professional capacity for closure....there are many who suffered the spare the rod spoil the child school of thought.....xxx

[Smowball]

Agree mm. I think though fredkins that even just writing this all down and telling us is the start of the healing process for you, and think you are very brave xx

[fredkins]

Thankyou murray,I could not bring myself to tell a counsillor at the time,I was seeing for something else,I told myself "just tell him and get It off your chest" but just could not bring up the subject.

[murraymints]

Smow is right Fred just by coming here you have gone a long way forward....x

[fredkins]

Thanks Smow I think you are right,I have now opened up my heart to you all which I would never have done,but I felt confident enough now In this stage of my life to do so.So yes I think this Is a good step forward for me.Only because I knew I would get some positive feed back from you all,well I was expecting some one to have a few negatives but I am pleased to say that I was wrong about that and you are all very sympathetic In matters of delicacy.

[anneasquith]

well done you for sharing , it cant have been easy..:)

[kronk]

I too received a fair few beatings as a child, both from my mother & father.
The things I remember the most is the neglect the family suffered. We had no running hot water in the house, an outside toilet & we all lived in one room. Both my parents went to the pub every night leaving me by myself from the age of 8. They never came to a parents evening @ school & refused to buy books for the 11 plus. I discovered underpants at the age of 11:-)
All the money that came into the house was spent on booze or the garden or fishing.
I could go on about the neglect the family suffered, however, by talking to my present partner about my troubles has helped in a lot of ways. They wont go away & doors in my mind do get opened occasionally, but by talking it has helped in my coping stratagy.

[nungate]

Oh Freddy, you have taken your first steps on to putting it all behind you. You've told us, your friends here on AB. I've felt by your recent posts that something has been troubling you but have felt unable to share until now, well done you. Now you have to take the next steps and see your GP and arrange some counselling for you to take you the rest of the way.
Just remember, we are all here for you and will support you if you need us and I'm sending you "virtual" hugs
Nungate ♥

[parkie]

Fredkins-I know this is a bit late, I've only just logged in.
What I would like to say was 'well done' for taking the first step towards closure of this horrible experience in your young life.
I had an experience at 10 years of age when I was abused by a man and although he went to prison for some years, (there were other boys as well), I still had it at the back of my mind for some years.
It was only when I had counselling 44 years after the event that I felt real peace of mind.
I would recommend it very strongly.