Confused....?!?

[neathgirl]

i met someone through a friend who i was instantly attracted to she knows that i fancy the pants off her but she is supposedly straight & married

few weeks ago we both went to the civil partnership of the mutual friend & i said to her apologies if i made her feel uncomfy about the fact that i find her attractive but obviously i wouldnt do anythin cos shes married & straight She was very good about it & said no problem i saw her in the toilets later and we were just chattin & she went to kiss me & i kissed her back - in between kisses she said to me i feel guilty i said do u want me to leave but she said dont go which i was pleased about but if she wanted me2 go i would hav respected her wishes.

last week i asked the mutual friend we have to give her my number so mayb we cud go 4 coffee sometime cos regardless of anythin else we do get on well &yes there was a part of me hopin that we cud mayb share another kiss sumtime. met her & our friend for coffee last wk & said to her i hope u didn mind me givin my number and she said no - i haven got round to text u yet as i hav been busy but i do like u &think we get on well.

so can any1 help me decipher whats going on - i thought she was straight but she cant b that straight & then sayin she does like me but i havent had a text off her im just a bit confused & know it must be difficult for her cos of bein married & studying but surely she must be thinking or feelin something about me cos y would she hav kissed me in the 1st place?

if anyone can elighten me or give sum advice on the subject it would be greatly appreciated i know its bad to be interested in someone who is married but from what i can gather her husband isnt really true to his marriage vows either

[neathgirl]

meant to say as well thank you in advance for your replies but it wouldnt let me fit it on the bottom of the question - i know its a bit of an essay - apologies for that xxx

[andy-hughes]

I think a lot of straight women are curious about what kissing another woman would be like - far more than straight men. Women are also far more open to their feelings, and willing to explore them, than men.

It seems as though your friend is curious - and may be inclined to be more curious. She may well be straight, but that doesn't mean that she is not attracted to you - she initiated the kiss after all - so I would take things as they come, and see where this goes.

Attractive as she is to you, this doesn't look on the surface as if it has a future, but i would never presume without knowing the lady concerned.

If you are sure you can take this a step at a time, and you won;t be hurt if she cuts and runs, then I;d say carry on, but beware of getting in too deep emotionally with someone who is just seeing how she feels, and may decide she doesn;t wish to continue. However it goes, I hope it works out how you want, and you don't get hurt.

[Drusilla]

deja vu

I once found myself in the position of your friend. I was married, though the physical side had died and I was increasingly convinced my tastes lay elsewhere.

Another married woman and I kissed at a party, but she was drunk and it was nothing more than a giggle for her. However, for me it eased a nagging ache in my heart and I knew where my future lay.

I was lucky to be married to a wonderful man who understood and was himself ready to move on (Though he wants me back, now) and we parted and divorced last year. I suppose I could have stayed with my husband and had relationships with women on the side, but I can't share my affections like that and it wouldn't have worked for me and would have been unfair on my ex.

I would point out the situation has not proven to be a bed of roses, as I am increasingly aware that my preference is for 'straight acting' women, for want of a better term and I'm not remotely interested in the 'sapphic scene', which I found claustrophobic and somewhat 'incestuous' with girls in particular groups all having dated each other.

If I were you, I wouldn't hope for anything more than friendship from this particular woman and keep looking. I don't think she's ready to invest in you and you seem too pleasant to be kept hanging around, full of hope, but half expecting disappointment.

Personally, I'm waiting for Saffron Burrows to knock on my door and tell me she loves me. Some hope!! :-)

[mycatis]

I hate to say but I don't think the issue here should even be if she fancies you or not, the fact is, this woman is married and not free to start a relationship with anyone, male or female,
maybe you just have to move on and find someone else? Good luck anyway,
Cat x

[tigilou]

if i put myself in that position ii would be a little scared may be this is whats wrong with her. good luck any way

[neathgirl]

thanks for the replies everyone... am just gonna chill out and see what happens with the lady in question. if something happens then happy days if not - then experience has told me there are plenty more fish in the sea! Even though she is a very attractive fish hehehe

im sure its quite confusing for her aswell as myself or maybe its just one of them things - it just happened and such is life! am glad it happened even though i wouldnt mind a reply :-)

and mycatis.... yes ur right she isnt free to start a relationship with anyone i totally agree with this but as harsh or selfish as this may sound im not particularly bothered by that cos when all is said and done she is the one who is married and has the guilt factor there not me

a year ago i wouldnt have even contemplated this kind of attitude - but things happen and ive had an extremely rough past 12 months and im just going with the flow now and seeing what life brings me and if its just a glimmer of happiness then so be it - ive spent far too much time worrying about others and being depressed about numerous issues - now is for living and not letting past experiences effect you in a negative way - and for once im loving living my life and long may it continue! thanks 4 the advice once again xxxx