Harrassment - Stalking

[aardvaark]

Hi. I am seeing a lovely lady and the relationship is developing nicely. The ex boyfriend with whom there has been no serious relationship for about a year but he has kept in contact since. He has heard that my lady is seeing someone else and he is very unhappy about it. He is bombarding her with phone calls and texts and also appearing at her house uninvited. He is using emotional blackmail and bullying tactics to destabilize our relationship. He has been round to my ladys Mothers house to find out ablout me and to get some support(the Mother is not impressed. He has also threatened to seek me out and 'have a word' whatever that means. He has a reputation of having a temper and being a bit unstable. I am not at all worried for myself but may lady is not strong in confrontations and already is very negatively affected by his behaviour. The question is what options does my lady have to stop the uninvited visits and the constant texts and calls?
Any assistance appreciated

[VHG]

Only one option - phone the police.

[Gavmacp]

Definitely phone police if only for advice. Usually these things just go away but I would seek advice.

[Canary42]

She has two options. Hire some thugs to do him over, or go to the police. I recommend the latter.

[Orderlimit]

Hello aadvaak. harassment and stalking is a police matter but here is a helpline if your 'Lady' wishes speak to some one in confidence before making a formal complaint:

http://www.stalkinghelpline.org/

[joko]

firstly, you should stop talking like Parker from the Thunderbirds and then get her to write him letter telling him straight what the situation is.

he clearly feels he has some 'rights' over her and probably believed they'd get back together ... she has perhaps been a bit vague with him - thinking shes being kind, and not wanting to hurt him, but really its kept him hanging on.

if she spells it out bluntly in black and white what the situation is now, what it will never be again and what she wants him to now do, he may accept it.

but she has to spell it out to him ... no flowery phrases and beating around the bush, no 'maybe in the future we can be friends...' etc

just things like - I am with someone else now, and i am very happy - you and i are over, and i am absolutely not interested in seeing you again - i want NO romantic involvement with you EVER again.
you must leave me and my gentlemen alone and keep out of our business or i will involve the police.
she could say once 'I know this is hard for you and i dont want to hurt you at all , but i have to say this'

he probably thinks you are taking advantage of her, being forceful and she doesn't really want you... some people are funny like that

if that doesn't work, then yes definitely see the police

how old is he and her?

[Nini74]

change her phone number for a start! tell her mother that you're concerned about his actions and that you think it would be best if she didn't allow him in or encourage him. Or tell her to tell her mother not to have anything to do with him. if he turns up at the door, she needs to tell him that he can't come in, that it's over, and that if he doesn't stop turning up she won't be able to remain friends/in contact with him and, if he still does it she'll have no choice but to report it. if they've kept in contact for a year since they split up, sounds like they've been friends, so she must feel comfortable enough with him to tell him how she feels. are you sure she really feels like this though as she could easily have changed her number etc if she was feeling scared or worried about it. this could and should just be nipped in the bud.