Personality clashes

[Scarlett]

What do you do when you have a perfectly good job/group and there is one person who you just cannot get on with? How do you deal with this? My band all get on really well together excpet for one girl who is basically a cow, but who loves all the men and hates me! She is really spoiling the group for me, but there is nothing I can do about it other than be tolerant. Is there?!

[pugwash52]

Hang in there, Scarlett. One day you may get to know her better and be able to talk it through. Perhaps she is not very confident and is jealous of the fact that you all get on so well together.I wish you luck, but you may find she will be a good friend in the end. If not, think how character-building it will be for you.

[smurfchops]

Scarlett it seems to be a fact of life. I have worked in offices for years as a temp, and there is 'always one' -usually female - who seems to have a problem. I think it is true that your band member is jealous. It seems to happen with next door neighbours as well for some reason ! Good luck and don't let her win, ignore her if you can. If she finds you don't react, she may give up. Don't let her see it is bothering you.

[lindapinda]

Scarlett,I understand exactly! Have been there,and have the t-shirt.I would advise you to not react to it,and try and not let it develop into a worse situation.Just keep being yourself,the person that gets on well with everyone else.Hope the situation improves.

[lb24]

If it doesn't resolve perhaps you could try mentioning it to her? It may be difficult but it could work out.

[irisred]

Have a similar thing in my office. I get on really well with the men, and most of the women but there is this one woman who makes me work really hard to get on with her. She's a lot older than me and other people say she's useless at her job (I don't think she is) so they come to me to sort out any problems.

I'm inclined to think it is that she is jealous of me in some way and so am continually trying to keep the peace with her. Its hard work!

Scarlett, I'd try to tackle her about it, not in a bad way but bring up the fact there is a bad vibe and its not helping the group any. Hopefully she'll rethink her attitude towards you if she can see she won't get a rise from you!

Good luck xx